There are so many things I was not really prepared for when I became a mother – the utter loss of any time to really do anything for myself, the powerful, animalistic desire to scratch the eyes out of anyone who hurts or insults my babies, the body’s ability to survive on an amount of sleep that would have made me scoff in an earlier life…But perhaps the biggest surprise since becoming a mommy is my complete loss of any privacy while I am, nicely put, using the lavatory. I am astounded at how quickly every living being in my house can congregate when mommy tries to sneak off to the restroom for EVEN TWO SECONDS! Let’s look at an example from just the other day…I must preface this story with the disclaimer that I am incredibly modest about bodily functions and do not really speak freely about what goes on when I DO use the restroom; however, for the sake of this story, I am going to have to sell myself out a bit and give you the fully monty. If you have ever been pregnant, you know oh so well the lovely side effect of constipation – one of my girlfriends claims that I must eat prunes and truthfully, I tried it and could not shake the feeling that I was eating an oversized gem from someone’s nose. My point is that when you are pregnant and you feel that you might actually be able to get some relief in this area, you make a run for it. Luckily, I was at the end one of the best books I have read in a long time (The Used World by Haven Kimmel) and realized that since everyone in my house had just completed breakfast and my husband was peacefully reading the Sunday paper on the couch, it would be safe to steal away to the throne for a bit and take the rare opportunity to actually finish this book and read at a time of the day that I would not normally be able to read a photo caption let alone two to three pages of a book. I let said hubby in on my plan to steal away for a moment and retreated to the throne room with book in hand. Of course, a good half page into the last two pages, the door to the bathroom is flung open and there stands Missy Moo in her princess nightgown waving her magic wand and telling me that since we are going to church, daddy is coming up to shower and she will get to watch Dragon Tales. Quickly behind her was our lovable WonderDog, Ellie Rose, who beelined it straight to me and came pretty darn close to de-throning me while knocking my book to the ground. I take a moment to get off the throne and turn on Dragon Tales for Missy Moo and after I get back to the throne and into my book, hubby enters the bathroom and begins to engage me in conversation. And while I cannot recall the specific topic that Classic Old Spice was trying to cover, I do remember that it was not a light topic – it was not one of those that you can do an “umm-hmm” every now and then while engaged in another activity. I answered him shortly a few times and at about the fourth or fifth question, I lost my cool and said, “I am simply trying to read the last two pages of this riveting book AND attempt to go number two if I may. I can’t have this discussion right now.” Of course, Classic Old Spice replies with “Gah, you are a grouch – I’m outta here” and finally, leaves me at peace. What I wanted all along and at this point, there is no chance that the coveted release was going to occur. Perhaps it is not the pregnancy that is causing this problem…
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When We Think It’s Impressive to Be Busy
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For When You Wash Your Phone in the Washing Machine
Last week, I found myself with an unplanned hour and a house of beckoning chores demanding immediate attention. So like any woman with a house full o’ kids and a husband that works long hours, I thought I would just cram as much as I possibly could into those precious 60 minutes. I arrived home, put on my running shoes and started to RUN throughout the house, checking this and that off my list. A few minutes into my Wonder Woman mission, I grabbed a load of dirty towels and, clutching my phone in my right hand, loaded them in ..
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I know, I know . . . Who wants to raise an anxious child? Who would ever read such a post? Of course, none of us intentionally tries to raise a child prone to anxiety and stress. But many of us are. Myself included. I’m not preaching to you from the pulpit – I’m talking to you as a friend sitting with you in the same boat. And at times it feels like we’re wearing life preservers and praying for rescue, doesn’t it? The more I think about this though, the more I realize that perhaps parenting is really not ..
Church Shopping: On Finding a New Church
If you’ve been hurt by the church, then it’s likely the thought of ever going back to church again is right up there with oh, say getting your teeth pulled (sorry, Honey.) (My husband’s a dentist. I have to watch dental jokes and comparisons.). I need to confess I once felt the same. Honestly, when those wounds were still raw, the thought of ever stepping foot inside another church again was enough to make me physically ill. We (Jason and I) talked it over incessantly. “Maybe we could just follow Jesus and just not go to church?” we asked each ..
Why Christians Don’t Always Have to Agree
We sat contemplatively around the table, speaking softly about the struggles of marriage. I complimented her on her courage because for some reason, we feel shame when we admit our marriage is in trouble. I know because I’ve been there and felt it, too. I begin to share some of my own heart and experiences with my ten year old marriage, wisdom attained through the really hard places. Unfinished wisdom that still percolates and wisdom I know but don’t always allow my actions and choices to show it. I then share some heart changes I had to make in order ..