I will be completely honest and admit that I was not really prepared for the immense amount of occasions that I would be discussing bodily functions in such detail before I became a mother – I have found so many times recently that I am no longer caught off-guard by talking about bowel movements and their contents/shape/color/size or the fact that I would be having a discussion with my three year old about where and where it is not appropriate to wipe “boogers”. Let’s simply look at just this past 24 hours…As I have mentioned before, I have a small (OK, BIG) problem with bladder control (those keeping track, I am STILL pregnant and due next week) these days and the smallest sneeze, cough, or laugh can force me to have to change my pants (thank God Missy Moo is now potty-trained – she is the only person who is home during the day that does not require frequent change of drawers). So after my doctor’s appointment today, I treated myself to a fantastic chicken salad sandwich and Sunchips from one of my favorite deli’s in Indianapolis. While driving on 465 West, the smallest of small Sunchip went down the wrong pipe and forced me to cough deliriously and yes, you guessed correctly…Suffice it to say, I then was forced to put napkins in my panties in an attempt to absorb the small accident that had occurred (is this TMI – even for my blog? Oh dear…I have lost my filter). I can only imagine what the drivers around me were thinking as they saw an almost 39 week pregnant woman driving down the interstate reaching into her panties…Luckily, this was a small leak (I have learned to flex down there very quickly) and was quickly rectified so I was able to move on to finishing my lunch and retrieve Missy Moo from summer camp in a timely manner. We made it home only to discover that she needed to have a “poopie” and became quite alarmed when it appeared to be blue and truthfully, I did as well. Just as I was about to call her pediatrician since I was convinced she had some rare disease of the bowels, I remembered the cupcake she ate with fluoresent blue icing on July 4. There is was, making another appearance for us all! I was then able to get Bubba Boo down for his nap and moved on to Missy Moo where I read a quick story and tucked her in. I was sprinting for the door (I MUST sleep for at least an hour in the afternoons these days) when Missy Moo says “Oh mommy – I had a booger but it is gone now.” Of course, I stopped in my tracks and calmly asked her where she placed this “booger” at which she replied, with a proud smile, “on top of my Dora Talking House.” Sure enough, there is was in all of it’s glory thus prompting me on the forementioned discussion as to where and where it is not appropriate to wipe our noses. I must admit that her response was priceless – she simply stated, in her three year old innocence, “Oops – sorry, Mommy.” Now who could ever keep a straight face on this one? And while Missy Moo is the subject of most of this grossology just today, it is usually Bubba Boo who takes the cake in this category. A few nights ago, the poor little guy had a horrific-smelling diaper, was wet from playing in a bowl of water outside not to mention sudsy due to his fascination with bubbles, had a runny nose, and one could see actual dirt on his face. Yes, “all-boy” I know and of course, would I take them any other way? Now as far as Classic Old Spice goes, I plead the spousal confidentiality card on this one…