Mama's Losin' It

Poor Ellie. She has no idea that Susannah wants to roast her over a fire and eat her for dinner.

Susannah, of course, just turned five last week. 

My, aren’t we getting sassy and awfully logical these days.

I am not a very black and white person. I see gray all over the place.  After the following conversation, I got to thinking about gray areas and polar extremes.  They are supposed to be the ultimate “black and whites”,  right?

Except no.  There is a middle ground between tall and short.  Between fat and skinny.  Between hot and cold.  You get my drift.

I am finding all kinds of gray areas in the messages I am sending in my parenting these days.

A few days ago, Sawyer finagled a snack into the family room even though he knows that we only eat at the table.  I reminded him of this in a very kind and sweet manner and stood in the family room for a minute straightening throw pillows and picking up dirty diapers toys.

While eating an apple.

Gray area.

As for Susannah, she is a HUGE lover of dogs and puppies.  Not a fan of dolls, no.  Of course not.  I would not want my only female child to be into dolls at all.

But oh… how we love our dogs and puppies.  And about ten million stuffed animals that breed during the night – they are practically coming out of her door in the morning when I wake her up.  Which has nothing to do with this story, but still.  You need to know that.

She has been on this kick lately of knowing what kind of meat we are eating at dinner.  In other words, if we are eating pork chops, she wants to know if it comes from a cow or a pig. If we are eating chicken, she is curious about the part of the chicken we are eating.  She then goes on to inquire how a farmer kills a chicken so we can eat it.

It’s so very appetizing to have this conversation as I am sinking my teeth into a moist and juicy chicken breast.  It’s enough to make me go vegan.

She recently asked me why we don’t ever eat dogs.  When I explained to her that dogs are a domestic animal in our country and no one eats dog, she then asked “Do they eat dogs in other countries?”

“Yes”, I explained, “they do.”  To which she replied, “Well, I want to try dog.”

Have I ever mentioned that my eldest child is the freakin’ pickiest eater on the planet?

She will not eat crusts.  The other night her pizza was “too hard”.  Her macaroni and cheese is sometimes “too mushy”.

But dog?  Sure, she’ll give it a whirl.

When she announces to everyone gathered around the dinner table that “I don’t like that” while pointing to something out of her realm of the five foods she will eat, I calmly tell her that she doesn’t know if she likes it yet or not because she has not tried it.

Yes, I channel my own mother sometimes.

After making her desires to try dog known, I simply crinkled my nose up and said “Ick.”

“Mommy, have you ever had dog before?” she asks while flashing me her quizzical blue eyes.

“No and yuck, I don’t ever plan to try dog,” was my reply.

“But mom…you don’t know if you like dog or not because you have never tried it.”

Gray area.

Everyone lock up your Fidos and Spots, please.

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