This is not a typical, light Caffeinated Randomness – I will be back to that next week. But you WILL learn a thing or two…I promise! For more CR, click here.
Yesterday I posted about some tough questions Susannah had asked me on Wednesday. Your response was huge. Thank you, dear friends.
I received some of the most poignant and thorough comments thus far during my short career as a blogging writer. You all forced me to think about some things that I believe as a parent and sort through some of the tough questions that I myself have as a fervent believer of God.
The following comments came from three of my friends on Facebook (which if you are not my “friend” why aren’t you?) and they have given me permission to publish them here today…
Mary is a friend of mine from the teaching days of, what seems to me now, long ago. She is articulate, well-read, and a writer herself. She’s also raising two children in the midwest (another reason why I love her.) She wrote:
Ben and I have been having lots of God talks lately. Though I went to Catholic school from first grade all the way through college and church six times per week through eighth grade, I still think the most important answer is “I don’t know.” We tell Ben all the time that this is what we’ve chosen to believe (the whole Jesus story), but that billions of other people disagree with us and they can’t all be wrong either. We tell him how lucky he is to live in a country where he can believe what he wants, and that we respect other belief systems, too. We tell him we weren’t there. We just don’t know. We tell him that it’s important to keep learning and keep respecting others’ beliefs, too. That we’re all a part of the same family on Earth. We tell him that someday we’ll know the truth, but not until after we die.
And on the other question, we’ve never been parents to sugar-coat. We tell him there are bad people who want to hurt and kill children. Period. My mom was kidnapped at gunpoint and held hostage coming out of our suburban grocery store with my two youngest siblings in tow back in the ’70’s. Another guy tried to get my little brother to climb into his car in our nice neighborhood when he was six. The freaks are out there. We are giving Ben the info and we are telling him to stay close.
It’s tough, Natalie. All they know is sand and toys and love and safety. Peeling back the ugly corner and telling them a bit of what’s in there sucks. You’ll figure it out with your particular kids. You’ll do what feels right. It’s all any of us CAN do! :-)…
Of course, I could not agree more with Mary’s comment of simply saying “I don’t know” and being good with it. I am fine with my children seeing my limitations which is good because they see plenty of them on daily basis...Mary’s comment helped me realize that I need to continue this conversation with Susannah so she understands why I don’t want her too far away from home unsupervised.
My friend, Laurie, called me this afternoon to share that she had a great DVD for children called “The Safe Side” by John Walsh, whose son, Adam, went missing in 1981 in a highly publicized abduction, and Julie Aigner Clark, creator of the “Baby Einstein” video series.
Click here for more information
The next comment was made by the husband of one of my very dearest friends on the planet, Jen. Jen is in her third year of what I understand to be her internship to be a pastor (I know there is better language for this but I have no idea what it is – so sorry, dear friend!) and will be ordained in about a year. This woman is phenomenal, friends. She is the most compassionate, loving, grace-filled teacher of Jesus that I have ever met and I’ve met many. I love her dearly. Jeremiah, who I call the “Bullfrog” for obvious reasons, is currently working towards his PhD in Theology at Garrett Theological Seminary (part of Northwestern in Evanston, Illinois) and is also the chaplain for the University of Indianapolis. Dinner with these two are a total delight for cerebral Christians such as my husband and me. We could talk to them for hours – after reading his comment, you will see why. The Bullfrog blogs here: please click for some amazing intellectual stimulation.
As for the cancer question: I happen to be one of the scholars who debate this question, so I feel a little bit of an obligation to give the best I can when presented with the problem. Unfortunately for you, I am going to give you the adult version and you have to figure out the mommy version.
First, although God is charge of all creation and sovereign (all powerful) over it, God chooses not to exercise all of God’s power right now. God allows some suffering (what the Bible calls God’s long-suffering/patience/perseverance) to persist in spite of his hatred for it because it is a result of the sin which is the inevitable (because we are not all-wise) result of God giving us choice. God could have created us without the option to choose sin, but that wouldn’t be freedom…another important aspect of being human.
Second, though our sovereign God does not exercise all of God’s power NOW, doesn’t mean God won’t make it all right again. This is the glorious “blessed hope” of Jesus second coming and our bodily resurrection. God is going to make everything right again, including your friend’s cancer. We just don’t know if God will heal your friends cancer now or at the second coming. We pray that the reality of healing which is coming will break into our present reality and bring healing. This will give us assurance that our hoped for healing will indeed also come. It gives witness to God’s coming kingdom when all will be made right in the world. In either case, whether God heals him now or some time in the future, the healing will be so complete for him and his family that the present suffering will be overcome with joy. In the mean time, God weeps with us. And we as the community of the faithful must weep for your friend as God does.
Thirdly, this should not be a satisfying answer for us. We should NEVER be satisfied with anyone’s solution for the problem of evil/suffering. God has promised a better way and we don’t yet see it. This is the power of the lamentations of the Psalms, the prophets, and much of the rest of Scripture. We sometimes scream at God, not for lack of faith, but because our faith is so deep that we believe that God’s word is true and our present circumstances are not what God intended or promised. We lament our friends suffering because God has promised a life of peace which God has yet to deliver. We proclaim from God’s Word back to God that the Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of Peace. Revelation 21 is a beautiful picture of this all being resolved as the City of God leaves its place in some far away heaven and rests in this earth restored to how God intended it. God’s dwelling when no longer be in a temple, but among God’s people. And there will be “no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” This is the order we live in, but not what God has promised. I will trust that you can convey that kind of hope to your beautiful “Susannah”, whether now or in due time. For now, I hope this perspective helps.
I had another great comment left by another friend, also named Jen but not The Bullfrog’s wife Jen, but because this post is a little too long already (so sorry for that!) I posted it under the comment section. Please share your thoughts as I love learning from you all. Thank you so much for the seeds many of you have planted today.
I love it Nat, (and I love the respones) these questions are so key and so many parents won’t speak to them. I think saying “I just don’t know, but I know who does…..” puts it all into perspective, we know the ONE and only who knows all the questions and all the answers – now THAT is comfort! Also as a mom you get to develop that moral compass … See Morewithin your kiddos, there IS A RIGHT AND A WRONG, that’s simply how it is and to do it in a way that is compassionate and loving is key to them treating others that disagree with them the same way. Unfortunately we do have to speak to the “wrong” if we didn’t how could we justify the right? In my opinion too many little compasses have been thrown off course because mommies (and daddies) for whatever reason (wanting to be PC, just want to dodge the hard questions, or don’t want to admit they don’t know something) have not taken the opportunity to talk about hard things…so glad you have and will continue to.
oh.. wow… such a good post, Natalie.. really makes me think and brings to the forefront many discussions that my bible study had been sharing, and things my husband and I talk about… at 9:30 in the morning( yes.. 9:30, we’re on spring break!) its to early for me to formulate a good response.. so I’ll be back =)
.-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..things I am lovin’ …. =-.
Thanks, Elizabeth! Aren’t’ you such a lucky girl to have your husband home at 9:30 a.m. on a Friday!!! Thanks for reading and commenting!
wow…. I clearly need to go back and read yesterdays post. You’re right – this was NOT light reading! But, oh so gooood! I love getting deep into faith questions! :) Thanks so much for sharing!
I know – I’m so sorry for the “cerebral-ness” of today’s CR. As I said, I like to make it light but well…I thought the CR crowd might like the response as well. We can never have too much ammunition in our artillery, I say! Thanks for reading, Lauren!
This is an absolutely wonderful post! And I think I needed the answer to why God does or doesn’t give cancer. I think most adults need to hear that. Thank you for posting it!
Stopping by from SITS
.-= Danae´s last blog ..The Wedding Cupcakes!! =-.
I couldn’t agree more because I needed to hear it as well! The tough questions are considered tough for a reason and this is one of them. Thanks for visiting, reading, and commenting, Danae!
I just found your site through SITS and I am in LOVE. Your writing is brilliant. I just read your “Life Story”, how touching. I am excited to follow you!
Well didn’t your kind words just make my day! Thanks, Tina! Part Four will be published on Monday.
Thanks for reading and for your sweet comment!
One of the best parts of having kids is that they contribute to our own growth spiritually. I remember my firstborn at 3 asking me deep questions (always while grocery shopping or some other public place), such as “If God can’t die, how did Jesus die on the cross?”
His questions have forced me to really think through the things I believe and to articulate them to him. Sometimes I have to say, “Let me think on that so I can give you a good answer.” And sometimes my answer’s not as good as I’d like it to be, but we approach it biblically and honestly, including our own limitations to understanding.
These are some great thoughts you’ve got going on here!
“If God can’t die, how did Jesus die on the cross?”
Love it!!! This is another one of the questions that theologians love to spend their time on. This honestly became one of the most important questions for the early Christians to work out in their beliefs about Jesus. If Jesus is God, who was running the world while he was hanging on the cross and laying in that tomb?
The answer is, of course, the doctrine of the Trinity. But the doctrine of the Trinity wasn’t something that was written in the bible for all the world to see. They asked the same question your child did at three and then worked out the solutions over 300 years!
You think this is what Jesus meant when he talked about being like a child?
.-= Jeremiah´s last blog ..Religious Conversion and Emerging Adults =-.
My brain hurts….I have never even thought of this…That is one observant and deep-thinkin’ little man you have on your hands, GlowinGirl!
I couldn’t agree more that our children grow us spiritually. I am so much more “higher up and deeper in” than I was before my three little blessings arrived. Even the tough stuff is so valuable.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Jeremiah and GlowinGirl!
Wow. Even though I am not a Mom or anything I feel that I learned so much. Some wonderful answers to some tough questions.
I love learning from others! :)
.-= Christy´s last blog ..Caffeinated Randomness :: Two Truths and A Lie =-.
A great post & who says that CR has to be all light ‘n’ fluffy!? :)
I hope you find a way to ‘mummify’ the answers & have a wonderful conversation with your daughter.
Many blessings!
.-= alihsee´s last blog ..caffeinated randomness :: {baby steps} =-.