Today was a day in which I was running through hell in gasoline panties. I wish not to ever repeat this day again. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, June 3. Buh-bye.
I am sucked dry. You can’t give out what you don’t have and I don’t have it right now.
I’ll have it again soon. I’ll spare some of the details of the last 12 hours but let me share a little bit of why I am in such a funk.
My day started with Sawyer coming to my room and showing me the poo that was crusted under his fingernails. He informed me that he pooped his pants. Obviously.
This is now the fifth time this has happened this week. I’m growing weary of it.
I grew even wearier when I walked into his room to find it smeared on his walls. Lest I remind you that it was 8:00 a.m. and I had yet to have a cup of coffee?
Let’s just say that if mama aint happy, aint nobody happy. Nobody was happy.
I washed sheets. Cleaned the poop off of the walls. Cleaned the poop from underneath Sawyer’s fingernails with a toothpick. I secretly wanted it to hurt. (Wait. Did I just write that?) For the record, it didn’t. Please don’t report me to CPS.
We somehow managed to eat breakfast and I was able to unload the dishwasher, put some laundry away, and get myself dressed before the next disaster struck.
Since I dared to leave my boys playing nicely in the backyard (fenced) while I returned said laundry to its designated place, I paid a very high price.
I found Solomon in the backyard with his poo diaper around his ankle. He was covered in it from head to toe.
Let’s just say that for the second time within two hours, aint nobody happy.
I suppose this would be the right time to mention that the sweet woman who helps me keep my house clean twice a month was here to witness my fantastic parenting skills. She’s also Old German Baptist and never had children of her own. She is a gem and I love her dearly. I’ve known her for two years now but I think I scared her for the first time today. In fact, I know I did. I just might have circles of Old German Baptists praying for me as we speak.
I plopped my latest poo villian in the tub. We lost a shoe somewhere in the mix. I went out to find it and stepped in dog poo.
I’m not kidding. Oh, how I wish I was.
I cleaned up poo incident #3. It was 10:10 a.m.
Next, the kids wanted to swim but reminded me that the night before, one of my boys launched Ellie’s poo rake in the full pool. We drained it but I saved the cleaning of the pool for today.
Poo incident #4 was spent cleaning up small particles from the baby pool in the backyard. Nothin’ but the best for you, Clark.
I’m not sure if I have mentioned yet the fact that we are pet-sitting Susannah’s class lizards for the summer but we are. I have had a rule this past year that I will not allow anything else that poos to enter our house (do you see why I have this rule?).
Did you know that lizards poo?
Well they do. A lot. I had to clean out their poo which admittedly only took two seconds but alas, I was at poo incident #5.
I’ve had enough crap today, thank you very much.
Other annoying stuff happened which is why I am counting my lucky stars that as I write this, the day is almost done. Praise sweet Jesus for His mercy, friends.
But I do have to leave you with something that charmed me from this horrific 12 hour period of my life…
Because I thought I deserved a break today, I ran through the drive-thru of Subway to get lunch for Sawyer and me. Apparently, Jesus was there. It was the brightest spot of my day.
Click below to watch a clip of my boys saying their prayers and Sawyer telling me about Jesus being at Subway…It’s only 47 seconds long and well..I think they’re pretty darn cute. If you are an email subscriber, apparently these little videos here do not play via email so should you choose to watch, you’ll need to visit the site. Sorry if this is a pain but we always like to see you around these parts…
You will even hear the real names of my children because I think it might be confusing to call them by their “stage names” to their faces – I can picture the therapist listening to that one now…Should you pick up on their actual names, then shhhh…Keep it secret!
For more awesome Caffeinated Randomness with Andrea from Under Grace and Over Coffee, click here. This is one cool group of gals – you’ll be glad you did!
man ,that’s alot of poo. ava has learned how to take her diaper off lately, so her summer is going to be fully clothed in order to keep away from situations like that.
and the “gas panties” phrase is quickly becoming a favorite of mine!
and who knew that Jesus hung out at Subway? it must be those $5 footlongs :) i’m so glad that He’s everywhere we need him to be.
the vid’s not working on my unfabulous computer, but i can’t resist cuteness, so hopefully it’ll work later for me.
.-= Alison´s last blog ..all the small things…. =-.
OK, the stepping in poo event made me laugh out loud.
Stopping by from SITS.
LisaDay
Latest post – I Just Don’t Get It
.-= LisaDay´s last blog ..Morning Writings =-.
WOW!!! I would have gone completely the rest of the way insane. What a gracious girl you are to write about it so gently. I can’t get the video here, I can’t wait to see it.
You still have children??? I won’t tell you what I would have done to mine. CPS would not have been the only legal agency involved. :P My sister in law has a similar poopy story, however, when she asked her son what he was doing after covering everything in his room with poop, he answered “painting Mommy!” Like it wasn’t evident. I’m praying that you have a peaceful day today.
.-= Michelle @ Lost in the Prairies´s last blog ..Caffeinated Randomness – Books & Blogs =-.
Oh, I’m crying from laughing so hard!! My husband reminded me of the day our oldest was about 18 months – she had a very full diaper but wasn’t aware of it. She stuck her hand down the back of her diaper because she felt something strange and when her hand came out covered in you-know-what, she went hysterical. It was hilarious.
Your video came up as marked private, by the way, which means we can’t watch it here. :(
.-= Andrea´s last blog ..Caffeinated Randomness: The Hair Revealed =-.
Oh Natalie, this is just too much. You poor thing. You need a vacation! I think this would send me over the edge.
Hope today’s less stressful…
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Caffeinated Randomness: Have We Been Robbed? =-.
…and this too shall pass.
You need the BIGGEST Mommy hug right now!!
With 6 kids, we’ve somehow managed to miss all of that poo business, but please don’t think we haven’t had our fair share.
My mom always says, “They wont be little forever.”
I’m just starting to believe her.
Now I’m hanging on her advice for the teenage years….
.-= Kela´s last blog ..Caffeinated Randomness: This, That, and the Other =-.
First, poo, yes. I was just talking to a girlfriend about things that come from the body. My dog threw up in my carpet, while on a “stomach friendly” diet. This basically meant that I had rice in my shag carpet. That can only be picked out with your finger tips. Pre-7am and hands in vomit. I must say…that is a lot of poo that you were in contact with, perhaps a theme.
Secondly, that video is so cute it is ridiculous. Obviously, Jesus WAS at Subway and can probably be part of a sacred tour now. Your boys are so cute to me, chewed up food and all.
Talked to hubby about the conference and he is being encouraging. Praying.
surely, a part of you finds the poo episode a bit funny. as moms, we have to have a sense of humor. it’s cheaper than a therapist.
glad that you found that Jesus was following you in your day. i hope to find him tomorrow, as i do the laundry by hand :)
.-= cheri´s last blog ..have you ever thought motherhood was easy? =-.
Don’t hate me, but I had to laugh at your poop incidents.
My middle son had one last year that was the grossest thing ever. All over him and the walls- the TEXTURED walls. Do you know how hard that was to get off?
LOL @ Jesus at Subway!
Trying to subscribe to your rss feed, but my reader hates me. Wish you had google friend connect!
If I were you, I’d be begging for those German Baptist prayers right now, dear one. :) Or just ask Sawyer to tell Jesus at Subway.
I’m so glad you’re poo day is OVER!
.-= GlowinGirl´s last blog ..An Old-Fashioned Day =-.
That is definitely a crap filled day :P I am sorry I laughed so hard but that was a lot of poo in a short amount of time. I am hoping you had a better day the next day. And I am a little jealous your Subway has a drive-thru. We have to go in ours.
Hope your weekend is not so poo filled!
Okay…I’ll stop now.
Have a lovely weekend Natalie!
.-= Christy´s last blog ..Caffeinated Randomness :: A Blog Party! =-.
Natalie, you are hilarious!! I was in tears over this entry! THANK YOU for sharing the good, the bad and the ugly and for being so incredibly transparent! We miss you guys SO much!
Oh my goodness… what a day! I had never heard, “running through hell in gasoline panties” before that is HILARIOUS! I hope your poo filled days are behind you. And the video… they just couldn’t be more adorable. I love that he said Jesus was at Subway! That just totally makes me smile!! :)
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..5 questions… blog party =-.
I know so many people who have had to deal with poo on walls, but to have that on a day with so much other, um, crap, that’s awful. Thank you for your kind words on my blog. You must have lost your dad at a very young age — I’m so sorry. Thank you for your compassion. I look forward to reading you more often!
.-= Jen´s last blog ..The Wave of Permanency =-.
THanks for your comment on my blog. Oh my goodness, I was cracking up and completely empathizing as I read this post. In addition to my 8 yr old boy, I have a mischievous yr old girl and a 5 month old puppy, and they totally gang up on me. I told a friend yesterday that my sanity switched just flipped off after a morning of chaos and I went all Mommy Dearest on my kids and the dog in the front yard. I never thought I would have to tell a child to stop French kissing the dog or feeding it crayons! I seriously felt like they were plotting to drive me over the edge. To top the great day, I was awakened by my 4 yr old at 3 a.m. When I got up to go to her room, I found her room and the adjacent bathroom flooded due to a leak in the wall. AHHHH! Luckily my perspective is back today, and I know that the Lord is in this valley with me, and there is peace in the midst of this if I allow Him to work.