Please note that this is a series. If you haven’t read Part One and Part Two, please click on the “My Life” page at the top and dig in!
Note: You may want to have a coffee ready. Or chardonnay. Depending on the time of day of course…
The pretty plus years soon faded and I found myself with a body that was more mature than my head. The summer before middle school, the boys started to notice. I had no idea what to do with this kind of attention.
The first week of middle school brought a seventh grade boy into my path holding a note that was folded in an origami-like fold that required me to pull the tail to reveal it’s contents. As he handed it to me, he said “This is from Cam*. He likes you.”
I nearly died.
Cam was the most popular boy in the eighth grade. Quarterback football star. Academic scholar. Girls fell at his feet.
What on earth would he want with a little girl in the sixth grade?
I opened the note and found that it was indeed from Cam. He wanted to get to know me better.
I was petrified in his presence. I literally froze and would not speak – looking back now as an adult, I realize what a complete zero personality I was.
One crisp, fall night brought the high school football game and the middle school students were always in attendance. During the entire game, Cam and I faced each other, me not talking, and him uttering once in a while “Well, gee…This is fun…” in an attempt to break the ice.
For crying out loud – I was twelve.
Then towards the end of the game, someone pushed me on to him and told us to kiss. I had no idea what to do but I followed his lead.
He was my first kiss.
We then proceeded to “go” together – whatever that meant in sixth grade. I can confidently say that the “go” together of 1986 looked very different than the “go” together of 2010 – it was not a physical relationship in the least.
But the heart. Oh how he made my heart beat.
I did eventually talk to him. He made me swoon. It was my first time experiencing these kind of emotions and I was in the clouds.
Though I didn’t understand it at the time, I was not “in love” with him but rather “in awe” of him – and the fact that he would like Miss Former Pretty Plus Size little ‘ole me.
We talked on the phone. We sent origami notes. I practiced writing my name with his last name all over my middle school folders.
Then one day I was not feeling so good and my mother insisted I go to the doctor. I rolled my eyes while applying ClairMist hairspray to my eighties ‘do and told her she was overeacting.
She insisted we go and I must say her “Mother Radar” was correct – I had a severe case of mononucleosis.
I missed a month of school.
During that month, a new, cute eighth grade girl moved in. I was out.
My heart was in pieces all around me. I was crushed.
I had my first taste of heartbreak and I was devastated.
Trust me – there is a reason why I tell you about this middle school angst. This story absolutely has something to do with Part Six, coming next week. I. PROMISE. I will not flake out again – pinkie swear.
Thanks for reading as I navigate some of the murky waters of my story. I think part of the reason why I took a little hiatus is that we are getting into the “meaty” stuff and it’s not always fun to re-hash…If I have a choice between reading “People” magazine and trudging through the murk, well, you can probably see why I am just now getting to Part Five after almost three months.
But I’m committed now to each week – again, I promise.
* Please note that Cam is not the actual boy’s real name.