Please note that this is a series. If you haven’t read Part One and Part Two, please click on the “My Life” page at the top and dig in!
Note: You may want to have a coffee ready. Or chardonnay. Depending on the time of day of course…
The pretty plus years soon faded and I found myself with a body that was more mature than my head. The summer before middle school, the boys started to notice. I had no idea what to do with this kind of attention.
The first week of middle school brought a seventh grade boy into my path holding a note that was folded in an origami-like fold that required me to pull the tail to reveal it’s contents. As he handed it to me, he said “This is from Cam*. He likes you.”
I nearly died.
Cam was the most popular boy in the eighth grade. Quarterback football star. Academic scholar. Girls fell at his feet.
What on earth would he want with a little girl in the sixth grade?
I opened the note and found that it was indeed from Cam. He wanted to get to know me better.
I was petrified in his presence. I literally froze and would not speak – looking back now as an adult, I realize what a complete zero personality I was.
One crisp, fall night brought the high school football game and the middle school students were always in attendance. During the entire game, Cam and I faced each other, me not talking, and him uttering once in a while “Well, gee…This is fun…” in an attempt to break the ice.
For crying out loud – I was twelve.
Then towards the end of the game, someone pushed me on to him and told us to kiss. I had no idea what to do but I followed his lead.
He was my first kiss.
We then proceeded to “go” together – whatever that meant in sixth grade. I can confidently say that the “go” together of 1986 looked very different than the “go” together of 2010 – it was not a physical relationship in the least.
But the heart. Oh how he made my heart beat.
I did eventually talk to him. He made me swoon. It was my first time experiencing these kind of emotions and I was in the clouds.
Though I didn’t understand it at the time, I was not “in love” with him but rather “in awe” of him – and the fact that he would like Miss Former Pretty Plus Size little ‘ole me.
We talked on the phone. We sent origami notes. I practiced writing my name with his last name all over my middle school folders.
Then one day I was not feeling so good and my mother insisted I go to the doctor. I rolled my eyes while applying ClairMist hairspray to my eighties ‘do and told her she was overeacting.
She insisted we go and I must say her “Mother Radar” was correct – I had a severe case of mononucleosis.
I missed a month of school.
During that month, a new, cute eighth grade girl moved in. I was out.
My heart was in pieces all around me. I was crushed.
I had my first taste of heartbreak and I was devastated.
Trust me – there is a reason why I tell you about this middle school angst. This story absolutely has something to do with Part Six, coming next week. I. PROMISE. I will not flake out again – pinkie swear.
Thanks for reading as I navigate some of the murky waters of my story. I think part of the reason why I took a little hiatus is that we are getting into the “meaty” stuff and it’s not always fun to re-hash…If I have a choice between reading “People” magazine and trudging through the murk, well, you can probably see why I am just now getting to Part Five after almost three months.
But I’m committed now to each week – again, I promise.
* Please note that Cam is not the actual boy’s real name.
Get Natalie in your inbox!
Liked this post? Get more just like it delivered directly to your inbox. It's the best way to stay in touch to these kinds of conversations!
I look forward to connecting with you!