“Can mama sing ‘Jesus loves Solomon'” I ask my baby boy as I am about to put him to sleep for the night.
He nods his head to the affirmative while wearing a knowing grin and I launch into our song, the one that I hope will remind him who he is and whose he is.
At the conclusion of our song, he gazes hopefully at my face and adds, “Moo, Moo, Moo Mama”?
Translation: Will you sing “Moon, Moon, Moon” mama?
And the answer, of course, is always yes. I will never NOT sing “Moon, Moon, Moon” to any of my babies. Even when they’re 35.
He lays his head on my chest as I launch into the start of our little ditty and he releases tension. I feel his little two-year-old body go limp in my arms, hear his breath sigh with a peace in knowing he is safe and can rest easy.
At the conclusion he asks, “Go again?” and without hesitation, I comply.
We sit there, swaying together in the evening light, mutually benefiting from this time. He being filled with his mother’s heart and me filled by his dependency, his need for this kind of love that only a mommy can give.
It occurs to me that I am resting in Him these days. This is the perfect visual for how I am pushing into God but in this case, I’m not the mommy. I’m in Solomon’s place.
I’m working through some things that are forcing discomfort as I discern what I think God is nudging me to pursue and laying down what needs to be placed at the altar.
It’s hard. I want to do it all.
But I can’t.
I’m just one. And yes, one can do a lot, but one can’t do everything. Nor should one do everything.
I am not being self-righteous – there are many who do what I do and in fact, do it much better. I’m not special. But at this time, I need to rest in Him. Listen to what He is saying. Perhaps pull out of anything that is like static on the station though that static might be a “good cause” or a “positive ministry.”
And it’s hard. I want to do it all.
“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
I am weary and burdened. And I’m going to Him to try to place his yoke on my shoulders, the one that is easy and light.
On this Multitude Monday, my list of 1,000 things of gratitude continues…I am so thankful for:
151. Be still and know. There’s a reason why He said it.
152. A nudge to get “back to the basics” and remember just how simple it really is supposed to be before we cloud it all up with our in-the-flesh ways.
153. A sweet lullaby sung to a baby that is no longer a baby but will always be my baby.
154. Those who will selflessly listen
156. Time with Him…
157. Tears that cleanse…
158. My “Yo Gabba Gabba” and a bunny crew…
Please notice Ellie in the background window. If I were versed in PhotoShop, I would add a thought bubble that read:
“Is this REALLY my fate? Really? Is this all there is? ” Poor thing.
159. Candy corn and peanut season is over. I will be working for the next month to erase signs of their visit…
160. A new month in which gratitude, even for the small things, will be a focus. And turkey.
May you rest in Him and be still this week as you listen to His call. May you have the gift of discernment. May you just know.