Photo courtesy of Kashfia Rahman
I’m deeply engrossed in The Distant Hours and about to hit the climax of the story when it hits me.
I need guacamole.
The internal dialogue between self-control and pleasure begin to bicker at one another; pleasure wins.
I draw myself away from the sleeping husband, from the page-turner of a book, from my electric blanket. Never mess with a guacamole craving.
My glands are salivating as I squeeze the bag into a bowl and grab a few tortilla chips. I sit down at the table with my coveted midnight snack and felt the adrenaline flow through my veins as I enjoy the forbidden fruit of an impulse I don’t act often act upon.
Aware of the silence enveloping our home, a silence that rarely occurs amidst the squeals, giggles, and screams of a house of preschoolers, I felt an urge to speak to Him.
I hadn’t spoken to Him in a while. He knew.
He wasn’t angry. It wasn’t a reprimand kind of thing. It was an invitation to catch up with a precious but distant friend who I had not seen much as of late. He had been actively seeking me and after two weeks of holiday madness, I accepted His invitation.
Because, you know, it was convenient. I had time for Him now.
During the holiday break, I decided to buck my plan of waking before the children to read scripture and spend time in prayer. Instead, I slept late each day, played with children who would not be interrupted by preschool schedules, and read fiction that had beckoned me for months.
Yes, I enjoyed myself. No, I did not spend time with Him later in the day as I should have. Yes, I missed Him.
And at Christmas of all times…When we are celebrating the birth of a King. His son.
How could I think I could take a vacation from Him? Why on earth would I want to do so?
I’m sharing this with Him over my bowl of guacamole, stress-eating more than I should, when I’m keenly aware how intimately my God knows this heart of mine.
Reconnect over a bowl of that magical green dip? Of course He would.
He knows exactly how and when to reach me so His message will be most effective.
The 139th Psalm engulfs my thoughts and I read. I realize what He has done.
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me. (NIV)
He is beyond familiar with my ways. He lovingly prods me with his staff to steer me, his wandering lamb, back to His ways. His mercies are anew each day.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. – Isaiah 55:8
Am I ever grateful.
On this Multitude Monday, my list of 1,000 things continues…I thank you, God, for:
261. Pursuing and steering this wandering lamb
262. Knowing how to reach me for where I am right at the moment
263. Knowing me more intimately than my children, my mother – even my husband.
264. Your different ways that are nothing like my own
265. A return to school, to the normalcy of a schedule, to sweet smiles on the faces of reunited friends
267. The hearts of sisters in Christ sharing joy and heartbreak
268. Guacamole – that blessed sweet nectar You created…
269. A visit with Meemo and the excitement that buzzed in my children as they prepared to see their great-grandmother
270. Your call to force us out of our comfort zone, to make something that was initially a “no” in our hearts become a possibility even if the final answer will indeed be a “no”. You are a God that moves.
May your week be filled with opportunities to know Him well….
May you feel how much He really knows you…
May you rest in his familiar presence that is always present.
It’s such an amazing feeling — that being known so intimately. One of my new-favorite songs is titled just that (Known) by Audrey Assad. It’s beyond understanding.
Love the sweet picture of those girls! :)
.-= GlowinGirl´s last blog ..My First Gift =-.
Wow, yes, I know this feeling of disconnect not because of anything on my Lord’s part but just not taking the ‘time’. I need Him, I need to spend TIME with Him. I hear you! I am glad you got to spend some needed time with Him. This is good.
.-= marlece´s last blog ..one of those days =-.
I’ve had my fair share of disconnects with Him. Some longer than others but thankfully, He always finds me and brings me back.
On a side note, do you make your own guacamole? I am a HUGE fan but have given up on good avocados this time of year. If there’s a good brand of pre-made stuff, I would love to know!
I love your heart, Natalie. And, I love how God knows your heart…that He even knows to use guacamole (and a quiet house) to lure you back to him (not that you had really wandered…I know you and know you stay close to him, even if you aren’t getting your “time” in with him each day). Anyway…love this post. It’s always good to reconnect with a good friend in a deep way ~ especially when that friend is Jesus!
Oh Natalie — this nearly brought tears to my eyes. I have days where I don’t even take the time to talk to God until my head hits the pillow, and even then, sometimes I fall alseep mid-prayer. I love that He met you over a bowl of guacamole. Sounds like a great “date.” :) :)
:) thankyou! Loving when He says
I hemmed you in and laid my hand upon you…
.-= Tiffini´s last blog ..This year get a runway body come on! =-.
I have had many times over the last few years that I have just expected Him to be there, though I didn’t give Him my attention. I know those times and can tell you how things slid downhill from there. I’m so glad that He took you out on a date to remind you of your friendship!
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Thank you Yada Yada Sisterhood! =-.