I had no idea how different boys were from girls until I had a little girl first then two boys 15 months apart soon after.

It’s like a world of difference, friends, but I will say this – I understand my precious husband all that much more.

You can’t analyze and talk until the cows come home with little boys/men.  Their eyes glaze over and they stop listening after about ten words.

If you want a member of the XY-chromosomed population to hear your message, you must be clear and short and sweet with your message.

And alas, having a four year old boy and a three year old boy has improved my communication with my husband greatly.

Disclaimer:  I am not male-bashing.  My husband is intelligent, wise, socially-mature, and compassionate.

But too many words, as I sometimes am inclined to use, makes him want to run far, far away.

His eyes glaze.  He only hears about 70% of what I’m saying.

Too many words.  Far too many words.

However, there are some things I never thought I would say that now fly freely across my lips since birthing boys.  And I no longer flinch when I say ’em.

And yes, I’m so unfazed by normal boy antics that I sometimes forget we are in public and yes, I have gotten some amused looks.  At least I’ve given someone a good laugh.

SO, since becoming the mother of two young boys, who I affectionately call “Frick and Frack”, I often find myself saying:

10.  The whoopie cushions stay in the car!

9.  Say “excuse me”, please. Repeat about 25 times each day per boy.

8.  Where are your pants?/Please put some pants on! – Any combo of the two about 25 times each day per boy.

7.  My tummy is squishy because I had three children in four years.  (Said through a clenched-teeth smile)

6.  Yes, that’s a Skid Steer and that one’s a Backhoe Loader.

5.  Yes, your penis will go down.

4.  It’s not polite to scream “Poop!” at the top of your lungs – at the dinner table.  And please don’t yell “Vagina!” at Target again.  Thanks.

3.  No worms in the house!

2.  Yes, your penis does look larger under that magnifying glass.

1.  Please don’t turn and talk to me while you are pottying.

Might I also note we don’t have an abnormal obsession with genitals in our family.  Their just, well, boys.

Also please note that I do teach my children manners. Really.  But apparently, my husband and I only produce children of the very-spirited variety.

Calm, collected, and quiet we are not.

But loud, loving, and spirited?  Got it covered.

Can’t you just see the mischief in those black eyes?  The boys – not Ellie.  Actually, all three.  Even our dog is mischievous.

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