I had no idea how different boys were from girls until I had a little girl first then two boys 15 months apart soon after.
It’s like a world of difference, friends, but I will say this – I understand my precious husband all that much more.
You can’t analyze and talk until the cows come home with little boys/men. Their eyes glaze over and they stop listening after about ten words.
If you want a member of the XY-chromosomed population to hear your message, you must be clear and short and sweet with your message.
And alas, having a four year old boy and a three year old boy has improved my communication with my husband greatly.
Disclaimer: I am not male-bashing. My husband is intelligent, wise, socially-mature, and compassionate.
But too many words, as I sometimes am inclined to use, makes him want to run far, far away.
His eyes glaze. He only hears about 70% of what I’m saying.
Too many words. Far too many words.
However, there are some things I never thought I would say that now fly freely across my lips since birthing boys. And I no longer flinch when I say ’em.
And yes, I’m so unfazed by normal boy antics that I sometimes forget we are in public and yes, I have gotten some amused looks. At least I’ve given someone a good laugh.
SO, since becoming the mother of two young boys, who I affectionately call “Frick and Frack”, I often find myself saying:
10. The whoopie cushions stay in the car!
9. Say “excuse me”, please. Repeat about 25 times each day per boy.
8. Where are your pants?/Please put some pants on! – Any combo of the two about 25 times each day per boy.
7. My tummy is squishy because I had three children in four years. (Said through a clenched-teeth smile)
6. Yes, that’s a Skid Steer and that one’s a Backhoe Loader.
5. Yes, your penis will go down.
4. It’s not polite to scream “Poop!” at the top of your lungs – at the dinner table. And please don’t yell “Vagina!” at Target again. Thanks.
3. No worms in the house!
2. Yes, your penis does look larger under that magnifying glass.
1. Please don’t turn and talk to me while you are pottying.
Might I also note we don’t have an abnormal obsession with genitals in our family. Their just, well, boys.
Also please note that I do teach my children manners. Really. But apparently, my husband and I only produce children of the very-spirited variety.
Calm, collected, and quiet we are not.
But loud, loving, and spirited? Got it covered.
Can’t you just see the mischief in those black eyes? The boys – not Ellie. Actually, all three. Even our dog is mischievous.
I needed the LOL at #2. I’m going to bed chuckling at that…
Yes. True story. Happened the other day when I was unloading groceries. Special trip out to the garage to show me, too. Lovely.
This had me cracking up…and as I scrolled down the list I was laughing louder and louder :) Spirited and fun are your boys!
Without question. Sarah is as well – hence why I think my husband and I cannot produce anymore biological children. I’m not complaining, and truthfully, I love how they are, BUT each spirited child equals about 2.5 regular-type child so that means we have 7.5 children. I feel it.
Are we blessed? Absolutely. Are we planning to add to the chaos? We aren’t. But God has a good sense of humor…:)
I am the mom of a 3 year old boy and a 5 year old boy, and this list seems completely normal to me! No explanations needed :)
YES! Aren’t you constantly dumbfounded by why they must always take their pants off? My house looks like a wild game of strip poker has occurred on my days. A sock here, a pair of underpants there – no wonder I lose the mates to socks all of the time!!!! :)
LOL! Both my kids (3.5 yr old boy, 1.5 yr old girl) are streakers (especially my girl). My son often runs around all day in a shirt and underwear, or sometimes just a shirt. Sigh. Our house has kids’ clothes all over the place, and we too have tons of single socks (the more I buy, the more that go missing ???). I wish I could say it was in fact strip poker we’re playing (woohoo!), but it’s just the crazy kids we have.
I have 2 sons 9 aad 5 they both never wear clothes at home boxers that’s it they never know where they took them off when I ask where thier clothes are either LOL /they talk about poop all day long and butts toots and pee-pees LOL we are going 2 have a daughter in May our first girl
I can second everything you have here Natalie! The thing is, you try to teach them all the right and polite things and this Mr. Husband comes along and does EXACTLY what you told the boys NOT to do.Boys will be boys, this is the truth.
I also think that boys are more snuggly than girls though. Girl’s are busy about their business, boys like to cuddle. Can’t get enough of that!
Really? How do you get a boy that cuddles? Mine won’t really sit long enough for me to cuddle with them? I do bribe them though – as in “I’ll give you a quarter…” HA! Kidding – kind of.
And yes, I love my hubs but wow…having boys has made me understand the anatomy of his brain a bit better…:)
That last one is hilarious! I don’t know if it is boys or children in general since I only have boys…..but I am surprised how much I talk about poop! And find poop……I won’t go into detail on that one! To me, its disgusting, but boys find it funny, fascinating! God love the boys!
Yes, Kelly, we have this obsession, too. And yes, it’s only boys. I do have Sarah and I don’t think she and I have EVER discussed poo and the details of it. She also can contain it in the toilet and doesn’t fall over in hysterics when someone talks about it.
Boys. :)
Well…..I have 4 girls. No boys. And sadly enough, my girls do find poop, gas, and boogers extremely funny. I wrote about this before because I can’t believe how disgusting my girls are. Problem is, like someone said before, my hubby thinks it’s hilarious, too. They feed off each other. I think they have too much ‘daddy/daughter’ time! You would honestly think I was raising a household of boys :) I tell them on a regular basis that they better find someone like their daddy to marry, because other men would find them gross. Hmmmmm, guess we’ll see.
Well Kelly…I’m obviously WRONG!!!!! Nicole, I love it! They sound very spirited and wonderful. Perhaps I need to pay closer attention to this with Sarah…I haven’t noticed this BUT this doesn’t mean it’s not happening…She just might be sneakier about it…:)
I know they will find the perfect mate for them…And very likely, he will love her for her sense of humor!!!
Thanks for the insight, Nicole!
Boys are FUN! Mine are 16 months apart (currently 5yo, and about to be 4yo). I’m a pretty laid-back mom when it comes to this kind of stuff. We freely talk about all the things on your list but farting/noises seem to be their favorite. They have discovered just how hilarious it is when you blow raspberries on various body parts :D
Well that IS fun, you know…You are right – being a trooper is really the only way to be!
Laughing.Out.Loud.
What a fantastic list. And the picture speaks volumes. :)
Yes. Welcome to my world. Each and every day.
NOTE: Don’t ever purchase Crayola colored bubbles. EVER.
I love your boys! I miss your family! Get together soon?
We miss YOU – hurry and get home from across the pond and we will DEFINITELY gather, girl! Travel safely! Need to see you!!!!!
I have 2 boys, 11 months apart. They are 5 & 6 now, but 2 years ago we were in the grocery store. I was looking in the frozen food case when an older lady comes up to look, too. My oldest was 4 and said to her, “Hi, my name is Jacob and this is my brother, Timmy. This is my mommy. Mommy doesn’t have a penis.” How can one be so polite and so embarrassing all at the same time???
Sharon, I was at dinner with my husband tonight when I read this comment and I literally laughed out loud and had to read it to him. LOVE it because that is SO something my boys would have said.
There’s absolutely no pride in mothering boys…
Thanks for a good laugh!
I enjoyed this post! It made me laugh out loud!
They are so cute! I just had a boy, 1 month old, and it is so different! I have 4 sisters and 8 neices. I only have 1 brother. My first child is a girl and she is wonderful, so you see how I was shocked when I learned I was having a boy. The whole penis thing??? Well, I am still getting used to changing diapers, getting sprayed, pooped, and pooted on.
OH yeah…Forgot about that whole fountain thing…Congratulations on your new baby boy! They are SO different and SO fun and SO hysterical and you will LOVE LOVE LOVE having hiim even though he will humble you often.
I had a girl first too – when I was pregnant with my second child Samuel, my pediatrician told me I would think he was delayed in everything because boys tend to do things later than girls. I really only found that to be on the verbal-front – he was climbing and crawling and doing all other physical-type things WAY before my daughter was so go figure – it’s the movement thing!
#5 – I say the same thing! Of course, ours usually starts with “Mommy look! It’s getting bigger!” (and then insert #5) LOL!
And we’re still working on #1… :)
I think we will always be working on #1…:)
Love this- my boys are 6 and 4…and 36 if you count my husband! Even grown up boys appreciate potty humor. Your list looks pretty much like mine!
Yep – my husband laughs hysterically everytime…
I have a four year old boy, so I was laughing at your least because I can only identify. What IS it with bathroom humor??? And did you ever think you would possibly remember the names of all the Thomas the train engines, Cars from the movie, dinosaur that ever lived? All this new knowledge I’m acquiring!
OH I so hear you on this…No, I never dreamed I could name construction trucks at the drop of a hat and had no idea I would one day be able to name every dinosaur that ever existed or say thing “Awesome, man!” and “Cool, dude”! to my children…
LOVE!
Ah ha ha ha!!!! I had to laugh at all the things you’ve said that involved penises. I just had this conversation with my four year old boy last night.
Him: Mommy, does Isaac [7week old baby brother] have a penis?
Me: Yes, Isaac has a penis.
Him: Mommy, does Isaac have a penis AND a butt?
Me: Yes, he does.
Him: And the pee comes out the hole from the penis?
Me: (Sigh) Yes, it does.
All while my husband is attempting to not die laughing next to me. Sigh…
Glad you could clarify all of that – we have questions about those holes, too.
Had a very fun conversation not too long ago about which hole the BABY comes out of…
Good times…
Mom of 3 boys here. Farting and belching? I never in my lifetime could’ve imagined that these could be so obsessively entertaining – no matter HOW many times I say, “Please don’t do that.” And, by the way, I’ve also learned that just saying, “Please don’t do that.” , just encourages them all the more. *sigh*
Amen, sister. No need to even say it, right?
LOL… yeah, the funny thing is I’ve fallen in the pit of laughter with them with the tooting… now every time either kids toots, Nico will laugh out loud about it, I will too, and if asked who he toots like, we say Daddy. ;)
Always blame the hubby (and his genetics) for everything. Especially the bad or the not pretty things. ;)
Our boys are 2.5 and 4.5 (and like yours, are spirited and I definitely think that should count for more than one child apiece). I regularly (as in every day) have to say “Yes, you DO have to wear underwear today.” and we have a whole list of things that start with “Don’t lick…” and includes items such as: your brother, the dog, the bathtub, the dishwasher, and one of my personal favorites – the driveway! My heart is full of the joy that comes with being the mom of Thing 1 and Thing 2!
Too funny – I often call my boys “Thing One and Thing Two” or “Frick and Frack”…
What is it about not wearing underwear? Today, my toddler man came in and was so proud of himself because he had put together an absolutely hideous outfit for his first day back to preschool AND had gotten himself dressed.
Deciding that I didn’t want to crush his joy in his accomplishment, I actually let him go to school in said hideous outfit.
When I returned home later in the day, his sitter asked “Did Spencer wear underwear today?” to which I could only answer “I don’t know” because he dressed himself this morning.
I’m guessing the answer to that question is no.
Any chance we get.
Oh, and my favorite boys conversation:
Son #1: Dad, do you have a penis?
Dad: Yes.
Son#1: And I have a penis, right?
Dad: Yes.
Son#1: Does Mom have a penis?
Dad: Uh, no.
Son#1: Oooh…that’s really sad. We should go out and buy her one!
Egads…
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!
hilarious! I’ve had to tell my son, “don’t pee on your sister!” a *ahem* couple times.
Sadly enough, I’ve uttered that one, too…More than once as well…
I have 4 boys- 9yo, 5 yo, 3 yo, and 2 months.
In the past week and a half they have plugged up a poopy toilet. They dropped the toy they were playing with while taking care of business. Twice!!! Two different offenders! Two different days.
What is so fascinating about playing with a toy while taking care of business. Any why, oh why, do they have to flush before telling me about it???
I laugh so I don’t cry! :)
Love my boys!
-RaShell
You have to…
We have an old cell phone somewhere in the pipes of our downstairs bathroom..:)
This is great! I have two boys 3 and almost 5 months. My three year old asked in front of my parents if I was going to pump my boobies and tell me those are daddy’s boobies
Oy vey…Hilarious!
I think the thing that most surprised me was shouting, “Don’t you dare let that girl out-run you.” I hate to say it, but you’ll continue finding yourself saying things that surprise you for a long, long time! I still am!
These are great!
I had 4 girls first – they are now 14, 9, 7 and almost 4. So, I’ve had a large majority of my motherhood attributed to raising daughters.
Then, 2 years ago, along comes my son! :) The biggest question I got from my friends was “So, how different is it having a boy now?” And it first, in the newborn stage, it really wasn’t all that different – I would say “Well, he has a penis…and that’s different.”
But now…even at just 2 years old, I see so many things that are just so “Boy” – and I’m not even trying that hard to raise him in a boyish way. He loves all things motorized, he would rather run everywhere instead of walk. If he drops something on the ground, rather than pick it up, he must STOMP on it with full force, and GROWL in the process. Since each of these years are new to me with a boy, I find all of his antics pretty hilarious “most” of the time. After he discovered “his area” during diaper changes, I had to start saying “Bye Bye penis” to cue him to take his hands off so I could close his diaper. OY!
Yes. We stomp. Run. Growl. Scream.
Everything is intensified by 150%…:)
And admittedly? I adore that little spirit…;)
Thanks so much for the laugh – I too have two boys 15 mo apart, they are 2 and 1 and we’re expecting #3 in about a month. They have radically changed my parenting after two girls. I can’t help but laugh at your list, it’s as if you’ve been following me around for the day as well. My favorite quote of the today was “yes, that’s poop, yes it’s disgusting, no we don’t need to touch it!!!”
Whoa, girl – I didn’t realize you had so many little people running around your house! Congrats on the next one that will be arriving soon…
And isn’t it SO true? I have quickly become not as judgmental about other parents since having my spirited boys…:)
i think i have found a new friend! that tummy remark…try 5 in 5 years and see what kind of remarks you get =0) Our oldest boy just turned 8 and it’s like a light has gone off…Just on Sunday, something had happened and he was in the restroom and coudl not urinate he bagan to yell from inside the bathroom…my penis is big and i can’t pee! what has happened….(Thank goodnes it was after church and most of the people had gone home) and he has this thing with seeing poop, thinks it gross yet likes it! our second child who is almost 7 comes up with the funniest saying that i just look at him and think, who are you? and where did you get that stuff from…bless his heart! Then we had twin girls(who are 5)…our youngest (boy)just turned 2, I thought for some reason that after having twins one would be easy!! (I’m thanking my Jesus that the twins were girls!) Our two year old makes me stop in my shoes and ask how did i survive and will i survive this one! If someone asks which is easier…i tend to say depends on the day. They sure keep us on our toes and on our knees! Life is crazy, but we wouldn’t change it for the world! it is so worth it when we put them in bed, say our bedtime prayers and you hear those words “love you.” At this point, they are all saying it…! thanks so much for sharing this list and making me laugh pausing or a moment to reaize it’s not all that bad!
Five kids in five years? Seriously? You are my hero.
And yes, you are dead-on – I love those cuddles and kisses at the end of the day…Adore hearing those little voices say “I love you, mama”…
Swoon. Melt.
Makes the penis and poop conversations worth it, no? :)
LOVE THIS! and it’s so nice to know I am not alone in this crazy boy fiilled world! :) I have 4 boys–age 6,4,2, and 5 months. Life is never dull. (or quiet. or sane.)
I have a 5 yr old boy and can definitely identify with everything you said! Last week, my son pooped and was yelling for me from the bathroom. I was trying to get lunch fixed so I told him to just wipe himself and flush. His response? “But, Mommy, I want you to come see my poop! It’s biiiiiiig!” LOL My husband is always telling me it’s a guy thing :)
Oh yes…I’d like to say I haven’t had to do that, too, but well, I would be lying…And it is COMPLETELY a “guy” thing…
Haha! Recently I keep finding myself asking my son if he’s wearing underwear. Every single day. I definitely do NOT need to ask my girls that one! And here I am waiting for the arrival of boy #2. At least I am prepared! ;)
I KNOW and I keep meaning to pop over and tell you how excited I am for you!!! What a gift to have FOUR! Even in the midst of the craziness of our spirited home, I would be overjoyed to have another.
Can’t wait to hear, sweet Andrea! Two boys and two girls? PERFECT!!!!
OH – and read up in the comments for more not wanting to wear underwear discussion…You’re not alone on that one!
Oh sweet boy mom friend! Yes, yes, and yes. Fortunately as a pregnant woman (with the 4th boy remember) I can definitely compete with the gas-passing. My favorite “penis” is story is when my son who takes everything literally told me his hurt and was hard. I told him “If you stop touching it, it will go away”. He replied horrified…”my penis will go away!!” Oi vey! Although not true I think they are always holding it to make sure it doesn’t go away!! Thanks for helping me feel “normal”. ;)
My son is 12 and we are beyond the penis talk, but we did have quite a bit of it when he was younger. His newest revelation was this week, after spending the weekend at jr high camp, he said “Mom, girls sure do talk a lot.” hahaha, this is just the beginning!
LOL! My list would also include saying:
“We are not taking any of those sticks home. Drop them.” {what’s with that strange love for sticks?}
“Please take your hands off your privates. Don’t do that, it’s yucky.”
“Stop/let go/drop it/put it away. How many times do I have to tell you that?”
I’m sure there’s plenty more but this is all I can think of right now…
As a mom of 3 boys and 1 girl I totally relate! I have also hear myself say “POINT IT DOWN!” in the bathroom way to many times. And having birthed 4 kids in 5.5 years, my belly’s pretty squishy too.
i can relate to this list so well. i only have one son, but his younger sister has learned alot from him. there are so many phrases that i NEVER thought i’d say!! and with chandler lately….it’s usually something to do with burping or tooting. the boy is fascinated with bodily functions right now.
As the mom of four boys and two daughters, I can totally relate!!! So funny!! My first two were sons, also, and I was so shocked at the things they did. Fast forward a few more years, and I realize that it was normal "boy" stuff!!! Enjoy they grow up fast. My oldest is almost 37!