I’m so sorry you are walking such a treacherous path right now. I know that you’ve been dealt a humbling blow recently as your husband of six years has been unfaithful and you’re seeking divorce.
As someone who has gone through a divorce, I know they’re a living death on earth. I know it’s hard and I know there are days when you just don’t think you can ever get out of bed, let alone attempt to move on with your life. However, I can’t help but feel such sadness for you for reasons that don’t have anything to do with your impending divorce.
I know that I’m a good 20 years younger than you, Demi, and I know you do have some life experience on me but I have to say that it seems there’s a bit of confusion as to where you get your identity.
It’s no doubt you are stunningly beautiful and it’s true you look way better in a bikini than I do at 20 years your junior. Your skin is flawless and your cheekbones are the highest I’ve ever seen.
You married a man 16 years younger than you. You’ve gotten some plastic surgery in an attempt to shave off the years. You have searched for meaning in various denominations and beliefs, the latest being Kabbalah.
Admittedly, I don’t know a lot about Kabbalah but I know enough to know what it doesn’t have.
Sure, you’re a Hollywood type and I know it isn’t cool to talk about Jesus. Mention following Jesus in your circles and your peers picture a close-minded hypocrite that holds signs of dead babies while protesting abortion. We are labelled as intolerant, as judgemental, as “closed-off”.
Some of that’s true for a loud faction of our peers who only really make up about 5% of our whole but are usually just loud enough to exhibit just the opposite of what Jesus would teach.
You were recently hospitalized because of the stress and the heartbreak and girl, let me tell you. I get it.
But the thing is, Demi, you seem to be looking to attain your identity on things of this world that don’t last.
It’s guaranteed that your skin will wrinkle up a bit – or more than a bit. It’s true that your waist will thicken and fat will hold on a bit longer than it used to.
It’s the natural process of aging.
And for those who put their identity on something conditional, such as outer beauty or money or power – all things that can be taken away – it’s tough when it is indeed taken away.
For the record, your beauty is not gone. But it wouldn’t have been gone had you elected to not have the surgeries either.
I’m sure you’re thinking it’s easy for me to say because I don’t understand how fickle Hollywood can be. I don’t get that it’s hard for you to get a job and make money in a town that puts such emphasis on the external that is so usually a mirage anyway.
You’re right. I don’t. But regardless of where we’ve all come from, He’s still the same to each of us. He doesn’t change – He was and is and is to come.
When I went through my divorce back in 2001, I sought and grasped and tried to find meaning in all of the pain.
I had placed my identity on my outer appearance. I had determine my worth according to whether or not I had a boyfriend. I had worked hard to earn cash because I thought this would define who I was.
But then, Jesus.
He showed me that those things were a slipperly slope that could be taken away as quick as a flash. He also told me who I was – and it had nothing to do with outer beauty or money or power.
He jolted me alive and revealed truth and I chose to believe it.
You may not know me, but I know everything about you ~ Psalm 139:1
I am familiar with all your ways ~ Psalm 139:3
I knew you even before you were conceived ~ Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation ~ Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book ~ Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live ~ Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made ~ Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother’s womb ~ Psalm 139:13
I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me ~ John 8:41-44
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you ~ 1 John 3:1
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love ~ Jeremiah 31:3
I will never stop doing good to you ~ Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession ~ Exodus 19:5
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you ~ Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart ~ Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes ~ Revelation 21:3-4
And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth ~ Revelation 21:3-4
And that’s just a small sampler of what’s really in that book of Truth, Demi.
I pray for those like you each day – those that are lost, those who place their identities on things of this world. Those who have been misinformed about God by people who don’t even know Him. Those who see the Bible as just a history book. Those who hold bleeding hearts in their chests and don’t understand that He came to bind up the broken-hearted.
I pray because I was once there. When He delivers you FROM those demons that tell you lies, He delivers you TO what is true and real.
May you find peace.
A Girl Who’s Walked Your Path