If you keep up with me on Facebook, you might have noticed I recently posted an article written by Melissa Jane a few weeks ago entitled “50 Shades of Magic Mike (In Which I Am Very Uncool)”.
I need to explain something here.
If you’ve been hanging out around these parts much, you know that I’m an avid reader and I devour books – if it were up to me, I would do nothing but hang with my crew and read nonstop. End of story.
Last spring, our family purchased a Nook Color for my mother. Like most Baby Boomers, my mom is a little, shall we say, timid with all things “technology” so I decided to configure her new tablet and show her how to download a book.
“Oh, Natalie, put that new 50 Shades of Grey book on there. I keep hearing about it,” she said.
So being the good daughter that I am, I obliged and didn’t think of it again.
Until a few of my friends were talking about how good it was.
Curious, I decided I should probably check it out – after all, I can’t resist a good pageturner.
I downloaded it that evening and began to read. And read.
Until.
Oh my stinking heck.
I’m not a prude and I don’t wear denim jumpers and feather my hair. But this? It just didn’t feel right.
And the worst part is, I kept reading. It’s true that I heard that “still small voice” telling me to watch what goes in but I justified it in my mind because I knew in the end, they got married and had two babies.
Which is good and all. But it’s still not OK.
So I quit reading and laughed hysterically at the phone call I received from my mother three weeks later.
“Natalie? Oh my goodness! That book you downloaded for me is just…” she exclaimed.
“I know, Mom” I said, cutting her off midstream, not really wanting to have this conversation with my mother nor her with me.
“50 Shades” went viral and now it’s literally everywhere.
I’m not going to regurgitate what Melissa Jane said because she said it better than I could. What goes in is what comes out – oftentimes without us even knowing we’ve been affected.
But last week, Jill Savage, CEO of Hearts at Home and someone I greatly admire, wrote two posts entitled “50 Shades of No” and it stirred so many responses she posted a follow-up called “50 Shades of Experience” (which, might I add, Melissa Jane’s and Jill’s posts are so worth your time).
Jill and I chatted for a bit at the She Speaks Conference and she shared that the follow-up was written because she was criticized for making a judgement without having read the book.
Her response was enough – maybe she hasn’t read 50 Shades of Grey but she’s read similar titles and they all have the same effect.
But here’s the deal: I have read it.
And yes, the brutal and violent sex bothered me. And yes, it glorified “of the world” behavior and His followers (including me) were duped.
However, what bothered me the most was the way in which the female lead character, Anastasia, was made out to be Christian Grey’s personal Jesus.
He was abused and neglected as a child. He had major intimacy issues. He wanted to hurt women because of the unresolved pain from his birth mother. He hated to be touched because his mother’s pimp used to beat him. And at just four years old, he stayed with his mother for a day or two after she died because no one cared enough to check-in.
I’m fully aware he’s a fictional character. But there are people just like him all over the place.
Anastasia Steele isn’t the one that has the power to free the captives or bind-up the brokenhearted. She didn’t give her life for him and she isn’t free from sin herself.
And so what bothered me about 50 Shades of Grey wasn’t why it bothered everyone else (though THAT bothered me, too).
It was the suggestion that a person, a human bound-by-the-flesh, could offer a very broken man what only Jesus can. Freedom. Love. Healing. Forgiveness. Grace. Mercy.
No mere mortal can fill a God-shaped hole.
Instead of debating this topic and arguing over who is right, I choose instead to pray for all who have read this series to realize who it is that proclaims freedom for the captives and binds-up the brokenhearted.
And It’s not Anastasia Steele.
Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. – Psalm 146:3
On Friday, I’ll post some other great summer reads so be sure to check back!
What are you reading this summer?
P.S. Please don’t send me hate mail telling me I’m a hypocrite and as a Christian woman, I should be ashamed of myself. I’ve taken it up with Him and we’re all good. Because, again, of Jesus.
Love this! Enjoyed sitting beside you at She Speaks!
Hi, Katina! Thank you for visiting – glad to “see” you here! Keep on Zumba-ing, sister! :)
Well said! I have three daughters (22,20,18) and we have had quite a few discussions over this lately. None of us have read the book, but we’re trusting those who have that it’s better to pass it by and choose something else… thanks for your insight!
Good for you, Katharine! I love how you are leading your daughters to be wise on what they choose to “put in”. It’s so incredibly important! Thank you for reading and commenting – great to “meet” you here!
Natalie! Great perspective, woman! I believe you hit the heart of the matter and I think that these are the things that concern God the most.
Thanks, sista friend!
Natalie, I loved this; it’s so very true! I too love to read, but have had enough Christian friends post about the book to keep me away from it. I agree that we need to be wary of anything that leads us to believe a person can give us what only Jesus can. He is the only One who is able to mend our brokenness.
Thanks for shedding light on this topic.
Preach it, girl! YES – only He can fill that God-shaped hole. I know from experience – I’ve tried to fill it with all kinds of stuff…It wasn’t until I found Him that I realized what I had been searching for for 27 years. Thanks for reading and commenting, Salina!
Thanks for posting – sometimes I feel like I’m the ultimate old-fashioned fuddy-dud parent…it’s nice to know there are others who are convicted as I am. Have had many discussions w/ my teenage son about choices we make….we really need to chat sometime! :)
What am I reading? Totally engrossed in a 5 part historical fiction series by Lynn Austin on the reign of some of Judah’s kings…Chronicles of the Kings….and yes, it all started with a Kindle freebie…gotta love Inspired Reads daily free finds!
Bev, you’re not alone on this – I feel like I’m a fuddy-dud parent sometimes as well but then I remind myself to stand on truth. If we sway with the wind, we grow children who’s roots are anchored in sand – I want mine to be anchored stronger than that! Break my heart for what breaks His.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Bev!
Natalie,
I haven’t read this book but I know a couple of ladies who have. One of them referred to it as “mommy porn”. The hair on the back of my neck shivered at attention while reading your description of this book.
Really, how is this different from pornography? It ignites the senses and imagination like pornography and leaves behind desires for more.
I know my flesh would probably enjoy this book, but I can’t go there. I want to keep myself focused on God and the amazing blessings He has given me through my husband.
As a mother of a teen girl and one who has a ministry for teen girls, I am curious how many teen girls know about or have even read this book. How will it shape their views towards marriage and sex? Major distortion. From experience, this is the type of path they will take if they don’t have a proper role model in place to point them to the Author of marriage and sex.
Among the Christian community we must set the record straight on the dangers of this book and speak the truth in love, as you have done. Dissent comes from those with differing opinions, which is fine, but there is no room for hate mail.
YES. Good points as always, sweet friend Erin. (When I typed “good” I accidentally (?) typed “God”. They ARE God points!)
I love your heart for the younger girls we are raising up. Thank you.
Natalie I love this! Thank you for saying it. Your heart for Him and us is evident! Love you sister!
I really appreciate your take on this issue and I have been looking for a list of good books to read that aren’t necessarily “bonnet” fiction. I want something with quality without suffering through content that makes me feel awkward before the Lord. I have a sensitive spirit, so whether it’s movies or books, I don’t subscribe to “checking things out” before making a judgment…similar to Hunger Games for my kids, I didn’t read them because I knew such topics really bother me. (Let me also say that I don’t hold this standard for other people, it’s just about how I am wired).
I figure with so many books out there, there’s got to be some with redeeming qualities so that I can still engage without squirming about the images/words left in my brain later. I have only recently begun reading Christian fiction. A book I just completed was Lynn Austin’s Until We All Reach Home which I really enjoyed, esp because of my connection to the story of immigrants being quarantined at Ellis Island (something that happened to my husband’s grandmother). I enjoyed Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs (secular author) and recently took out her sequel. But right now I am reading My Antonia because my son has to read it for school : ) Hope you get a good list together. Thanks again
Thank you for the suggestions, Karen! I too recently started to read Christian fiction and I have to say, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would! :) I hear ya on that sensitive soul thing.
Thanks for reading and commenting, dear one!
I enjoyed reading the article about Melissa Jane and I actually shared it with some friends. It capture exactly my feelings towards the book “50 Shades of Gray”. I also bought the book on my nook started reading and then felt so weird, strange ( i don’t even know how to describe it) that i decided to stop reading. In my opinion, when you walk with God, even when the devil try to deceived you with lies (ex: well if everyone is reading it then it must be ok for me to read or it’s just a story or it won’t affect me) we must trust in God and listen to his commands (2Timothy 3:14-16). Our hearts should be set on Him and Him alone. If we fill our time reading, watching and listening to content that contradict our believes in the end will be affected by these and walk in the wrong direction. Ultimately, how we think (our thoughts) will determine how we feel (what’s in our hearts) and therefore how we act.
Instead of “50 Shades of Gray” a better read to anyone who wants to read about sex seen from God’s perspective I recommend Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with your Spouse by Ed and Lisa Young.
“Ultimately, how we think (our thoughts) will determine how we feel (what’s in our hearts) and therefore how we act.”
YES, Grace. YES.
Thank you for the suggestion – I’ll include it on Friday’s post!
Natalie,
It was good to meet you on the shuttle to She Speaks! I am so glad you wrote this post! Let me say, I have not read this book. But I agree that books and films that portray romance and sex are just as damaging to a woman’s mindset and her idea of what love should be as pornography is for men. Thank you for speaking truth! Keep up the good work.
Lisa, how wonderful to see you here! You are correct – romance novels and the like give us a false perspective on how we think marriage “should” be and then suddenly, there’s discontent in our marriage.
Great to meet you, Lisa. I look forward to getting to know you!
Hi Natlie,
Loved your honesty and I am standing with you. From this former sex addict, my flesh wants to read the book, however from this now child of the King, I can’t do it! I know I got another “high” in me, but I am not 100% sure I have another recovery in me and quite frankly, reading that book may send me on a downward spiral. With 12 years of sobriety- I won’t try to fool myself into thinking that I am “safe”. I did talk with a friend who was going on vacation and wanted to being some books to read, one being my book, but she was going to get 50 Shades… I asked her to get “Not a Fan” by Kyle Idleman instead. She did so and is fired up for Jesus, and thanked me for it.
I am with you on grabage in-garbage out! Blessings to you and keep the faith- In His Grip- Diane
Oh, Diane. Your transparency here touches me. I know your story is a powerful one.
So thankful you are obeying the still small voice that is telling you to stay away.
I’ve heard MUCH about Not a Fan – it’s in my queue!
And yes – garbage in, garbage out.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and encouraging others here!
Such a great perspective, Natalie! I enjoyed meeting you briefly at SheSpeaks – would like to have chatted more in depth. But I love what you are doing here and I’m glad to be connected!
Theresa, it’s wonderful to see you here! I sensed a kindred spirit in you so I look forward to getting to know you.
Thanks for stopping by!
Looking forward to your book recommendations on Friday! I have a vacation coming up and I need something worthwhile!! :)
Well said… ALL of it… I love your openness. No hating here… we all have issues that we have to crawl in Daddy God’s lap about! I really like how you have answered just about every angle of this controversy… blessings my sista!
Thank you for posting this. I got caught up in the hype and prdered it from the library…just cancelled the request.
I just want to say…..I did the same thing. My first reaction was that it was horrible but then I kept reading. I even read all three of them….a few times. Then thankfully I realized somewhere between praying the rosary and to Jesus and St. Pio that it was crap. I also went to confession of course. It is definitely a temptation to think that the perfect romance novel kind of guy is out there waiting for us. And he’s not. Except Jesus.