I was a royal rhymes-with-witch today.
I woke up late. So did my daughter and the two boys. It was a steady downpour until early afternoon in our community. The rain was freezing making the roads slippery. I got Sarah to school two minutes late only to find the back door locked. I had to walk her through the front door and I snapped at the school secretary.
You wouldn’t have had even the slightest idea I even knew who Jesus was let alone had Him living inside of me. I was ugly to the bone.
And so saying good-bye to a mortified daughter in tears, I left knowing that later I would feel terrible about leaving her this way as well as my own ridiculous behavior.
Then, of course, it was time for preschool drop-off and another child in tears to deliver to teachers who are more than capable of handling it. His tears had nothing to do with our morning but rather the fact that he didn’t get his way and I wasn’t willing to reward the behavior. But still. Child Number Two, delivered to school in tears.
My record was not looking so good.
So, of course I turn to Jesus Culture when I need to re-center in the car and what song should echo across the soundwaves?
Yes. One of my favorite reminders.
Because, really, I always need Him. But on mornings when two of your kids go to school in tears and you offend the school secretary by your He who ISN’T in you behavior, you REALLY need you a good dose of Jesus.
More than the air I breathe. More than the song I sing.
More than everything.
I need you more.
So I confess and seek forgiveness from both the secretary and God and I release the guilt.
And I thank Him for being a God of grace. For new mercies not just in the mornings but the second I seek His forgiveness as well.
More than the air I breathe indeed.
Love me some Jesus Culture! Did you get my email about them coming to Indy in April?? I GOT MY TICKET!!! :)
On another note, the fact that you can see in yourself the moments that you are less than “Jesus like” proves that you are a humble servant. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t see it. Thanks for this post and for your transparency. :)
I’m sooooooo sorry I never responded, Lisa! My inbox is a very scary place. I REALLY want to go but I just discovered that tix are $104 each! Yikes! We’ll see but it’s doubtful. And I want to vomit as I type this. Oh, yes I do…
And thank you, dear friend. Thank you for your kind words and for commenting on my ugliness. :)