I had a really funny conversation the other day.
I was talking to someone about how one of the biggest challenges I face is praying for those who are not-so-nice to me. The flesh part of me wants to retaliate, to stick my index finger in their face and tell them a thing or two about what I think of THEM.
Except that’s not what we’re supposed to do. And while I don’t give-in to the fleshy reaction described above because I’m working hard on self-control, I must admit I’ve had several daydreams involving the indulgence in said scenario. Here’s the conversation that transpired after this admission:
Delusional Person: I’m so thankful to hear you say that. I’ve struggled with this, too. Here I thought you had it all together, like you were one of those moms who bakes cookies all the time and never lets her kids watch TV and probably hasn’t ever lost her cool with them, either.
I was completely confused.
Who the heck was she talking about? Me? So I respond:
Me: Oh, girl. Clearly you don’t know me very well.
DP: What do you mean?
Me: Well, just this morning I told my youngest son if he didn’t stop talking about the ninja he gave his brother and now wants back I was going to chop his head off. And while it’s true he knows its my attempt to add a little humor to the situation, I’m fairly certain most psychologists would tell you I’m doing a number on all three of them. I never wake-up with them on the weekends so they have to fend for themselves and get their own breakfasts until I roll out of bed around 8:30 or 9–the house is usually a train-wreck and I don’t care because I find it to be worth it. We eat at McDonald’s though some consider this a cardinal sin, sometimes I make different things for everyone’s dinner, and I’ve been known to declare “Lunchable” nights in which everyone picks out which one they want and there’s dinner. While I love my husband and would choose no one else, we can have some nasty arguments. I have been keeping the existence of extracurricular activities a secret from my children because I don’t want to drive all around God’s creation to get them there and I would like to wring the neck of the kid who told my son about soccer. Honestly, on many days, I would just prefer to read my books, take a walk, and write.
I’m pretty sure I passed the buck of confusion to Ms. Delusional. Gazing blankly at me, she says:
DP: I had no idea you were so much like me. I completely misjudged you.
So we talk a bit longer and we laugh over our shared screw-up mom status and encourage one another to wave it proudly like a banner so other screw-up moms can find us.
There’s strength in numbers.
And this, my sisters, is what vulnerability can do.
Green eggs are about as crafty as I get…
Have you ever misjudged someone? Is it easy or hard for you to be vulnerable? Let me know in the comments – I would love to hear your thoughts!
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Don’t have a clue what you are talking about?…… Considering I have a 2 year old that knows every infomercial and can sing the theme songs of most TV shows. Or the fact that I admitted to my son’s 4th grade teacher that I got frustrated with him and homework and threw his book against the wall and stormed out of the room. …ummm I bent the book a little out of shape…..ooops sorry library! We don’t have college funds for our kids…we are saving for their therapy! LORD HELP US!
OK, so I’m going to attempt to make us both feel a bit better…Here’s the thing: this is REAL life. I like to think we are preparing our kids for the real world when we ARE real – anything past that will just be icing on the cake!
Seriously, though – I don’t see anything wrong with showing our kids our human side. I’m with you, sister!
Yeah, I’m so in that club, too. I think we are all, and for some crazy reason we don’t see it. We see the imaginary one that we think everyone else but us is in.
We feel so alone, when in face we are more like our sisters than we know! There is strength in numbers! Yes!
You got it, girl. So true. It’s in the opening of our mouths that we reveal the truth but when we stay silent, we hide in shame.
Thanks for reading and commenting, sweet friend!
On the misjudging topic, I met one of my dear friends at a dog agility class where I overheard her mention to the instructor that she was from the same city as I am, which is known to be pretty affluent. She was petite, super cute, cute outfit, etc, and I instantly thought, “Oh she’s one of THOSE Carmel housewives. She’ll never want to be MY friend.” Turns out, we bonded over our dogs and the fact that we both DO live where we live, and she is hilarious and thinks I am the one who has it “all together”. HA! Now we hang out and do bible study together, and walk our dogs, and my big boys LOVE her little boy. And joke all the time about how we first misjudged each other. :)
That is an AWESOME story, Lisa. Just think if you had never connected on that level? What if you just had continued to let the false picture of one another reign? Look at what you would have missed out!
Thanks for sharing this, sweet friend. Love it.
Hi Natalie and co.!
I’m not a mommy yet, but I was having a conversation similar to this with the ladies in my small group. We were talking about why women feel the need to have it all together around other women. It’s like there’s an unspoken competition. I read a lot of mommy forums as part of my job and the way the moms tear each other down for the decision they make in raising their children breaks my heart. I imagine it’s hard enough being a mom. I know the demands of trying to be a good wife. We need more sisterhood particularly in the Kingdom. We’re all in this together. This is why I was drawn to your blog. Your transparency and sincerity are beautiful.
Thanks again for another thought-provoking and funny post!
Thank you, sweet friend.
I’m absolutely passionate about what you said – encouraging women to build one another up and not tear-down. There is SUCH power behind women and that power is only magnified when we form a sisterhood. Competition happens when we are looking sideways instead of up.
You will be a mama someday (I just feel it – can’t explain why. Oh wait. I can. It’s called the Holy Spirit) and you will be well-prepared!
Thank you for reading and commenting, sweet sister!
It was great chatting with you at the PHI brunch yesterday. (I was the one with the 2 week old..and discussing life with 3 boys!!). Looking forward to following your blog!
Jessica! How wonderful to see you around these parts!
Great to meet you yesterday. Your little Jack is just precious.
Thank you for remembering and visiting! Awesome to have you here.
Hello! Your blog makes my heart happy:). I’ve been reading it for over a year now…love it!! My boys are almost 9 and just turned 10 (15 mos apart) and well life is crazy, beautiful,smelly,loud,funny,dirty, precious,messy, did I say loud already?!?! Girl we too have the occasional Mickey D meal, my youngest is sooo picky and I’ve finally realized that his heart and moral character are way more important than his dislike of most, I mean all, vegetables:). Oh yeah, one sport per child per season is our motto as well because darn it, I like to be at home!! My husband rocks but I had no problem sending him off on business for the week after church yesterday….yay no cooking for me this week;). Thank you so very much for your inspirational words of wisdom and for being real! God bless you and your sweet family!! Happy Mothers Day!
Ah, Kelly…your comment just made ME happy! Thank you, sweet sister.
Preach it, sister – I’m right there with you on all of that…Amen, amen!
Cheers to keeping it real!