When You Feel Like You Don't Matter

Last night, I went to bed feeling discouraged.

One of our children is worrying me. I spent too much time on my Facebook feed comparing myself to other writers (and typing this makes me want to vomit but, hey. I reveal my ugly around these parts.) I’m still decompressing from last week’s continual fog of sadness after one tragic event unfolded after another.

I know. Cue the Debbie Downer music.

But I can’t help but wonder . . . Surely I’m not the only one. Do you feel this way at times, too?

Sometimes the work here on earth as a mother, wife, and woman-in-general feels so overwhelmingly insurmountable that I just want to run back to my bed and lose myself in a good book.

I know. Not healthy. Classic escapism. But again, I’m being real here.

At 2:50 a.m., I awoke more bright-eyed than I ever thought I could be at 2:50 a.m. I kept trying to fight it off – if I just read  my book for a bit (thank God for the Nook with the backlight!) I might fall asleep. If I just lie here for a bit longer . . .

But it didn’t happen. God roused me awake for a reason.

“Hey, Natalie . . .” I heard Him whisper as I remained entangled in my sheets, hoping to will the sleeplessness away.

“We need to talk. There’s good coffee downstairs. Let’s go.”

Clearly, God knows how to get me out of bed.

Last night, Sarah and I decided to focus on scripture each day that reminded us of who we are in God’s eyes. This morning, I picked up a devotional given to me this past week because I’m part of my son’s preschool’s parent board.

I admit that I usually add books like this to my shelf and find them again years later. But this one was left out because it intrigued me.

The first devotional centered around Psalm 139 – only my favorite Psalm EVAH.

Maybe you need to hear it, too?

In a nutshell, girl, we are knit together. Fearfully and wonderfully made. Hemmed-in behind and before. So loved there’s nowhere we can flee from His spirit. Knit together carefully in the wombs of our mothers. All of our days were known by Him before we even lived just one of them.

And if that’s not enough, sister . . .

May I remind us all of Ephesians 2:10?

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

YOU were created to do something only YOU can do.

In other words, YOU matter. Even on the days when you feel like you don’t.


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