I’m on a major get-in-shape, weight-loss journey. I haven’t talked much about it here because it seems kinda boring – not to mention I once rolled my eyes (secretly, of course) when super-energized health nuts would extol the number of crunches they did before 6 a.m. while drinking a green smoothie.
For the record, I’m not doing crunches at 6 a.m. and I’m not so sure about green smoothies.
After six weeks into this whole “Get Natalie Healthy Again” Campaign, I’m noticing I’m way nicer. I’m nicer to my husband. I’m nicer to my kids. I’m nicer to the dog.
But you know who I’m nicest to? Myself.
I didn’t feel good about myself for a while – and not just with my physical appearance. The thoughts floating around my head were just plain crappy as well.
It’s as though I had never heard of a series I wrote last year entitled The Stinkin’ Thinkin’ Makeover.
You know what else I’m noticing?
I’ve allowed lies to creep into my head and, silly me, I believed them.
Here’s how it worked: I might have three hand-fulls of candy corn (for the record, candy corn is from the devil). Then I would feel horrible about my lack of self-control and realize I just added to the weight I already needed to lose. Then my husband would emerge from his office to find a crankpot of a wife. One that’s irritable and short with everyone.
He’s greeted by this lovely version of myself and snarkily (made-up word) thinks “What’s up her?” He reacts with shortness and frustration because who wants to be greeted by a big grouch?
Then I get frustrated because I think “Why isn’t he being more loving?”
Do you see the crazy-ness here?
And to think it all comes from candy corn. Well, kind of.
Here’s the thing: maybe your lies don’t come at you in the same way mine do. Maybe body insecurities and feeling unhealthy don’t trigger you. Perhaps it’s the voice that says “You’ll never do anything right” and, because you believe this lie, you think this includes your marriage.
Have you heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy, friends?
It’s when you will rise to what you are told you are. Or what you believe you are.
It’s a real thing. I’ve seen it in action as a teacher and now with my own children.
When we give something or someone the power to name who we are, lies infiltrate our minds and the truth is distorted.
When the truth is distorted, we forget what’s real.
When we forget what’s real, our closest relationships are affected.
And when our closest relationships are infected?
If you’re like me, you become Debbie Downer.
While men tend to define their success through their job performance, women define their success through their relationships.
Both parties are in the wrong – we should be defined by who God says we are and no one, or nothing, else.
But we’re human. Disabled by the flesh. Sometimes we forget to hold these kind of thoughts captive.
So just for today, let’s examine our heads (scary thought for me) for a moment:
1) Are there any lies you are believing about yourself?
2) If so, how are those lies impacting your relationships with others, particularly those closest to you?
3) How can you “move in the opposite spirit” (as Graham Cook likes to say) of those lies? In other words, what can be done to eradicate those lies from your mind?
One way to beat lies down? Use the bullets of truth.
For example, if you tell yourself, “I can’t do anything right,” then a good scripture for you to repeat every time you have this thought is Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Now go blow those lies out of the water and for heaven’s sakes . . . let’s not be crankpots when our husbands get home tonight.
It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. – Proverbs 21:9
Ouch.
Oh my sweet friend, you are very wise. The lies we tell ourselves are killer. Thanks for making me think about this!
Yes, they are, dear one. Don’t believe ’em.
For the record, “snarkily” is too a word. I have used it myself! ;)
Found great truth in your simple reminder that women define success through relationships. Of course. So many pieces are falling into place for me. The failure of my marriage does not make me a failure. That will take a while to sink in. Good words.
So VERY VERY true, my friend. You are not defined by what has happened in your past and nor are you a failure because your marriage ended. Jesus picks up the pieces for us and makes us a new creation – even after we’ve decided to follow Him.
The transformation is never-ending… For the record, I love what He’s making you into these days…:)
I thought snarkily was a word. Silly me! Over the last couple years, I practice (most of the time) positive self talk. Turning a negative statement about myself into a positive one makes all the difference in the world.
That’s so good – and you’re right! It is a word. I know you saw my post on Facebook…:)
Struggling in a low swing of depression right now, and this is so helpful! The enemy is under my feet, I am free, I am free. (repeat all day every day)