*Please note this is a series – to read from the beginning, click the “Life Story” tab under the header and read away!
And so it goes. We got married.
I birthed that baby on a bitterly-cold but sunny afternoon in February (2005) – two weeks early. She was a hot colic mess and I was an even bigger hot colic mess.
We grew-up together, the three of us.
Two years after her birth, we added another. Then fifteen months after that second baby boy, we added another one. We’re all still growing up together – nothing boils your stuff up to the surface faster than having your own children.
Since the birth of that first baby almost nine (!) years ago, we’ve survived a move to a place I didn’t want to go but have grown to love. We made it through another colicky baby and had another one just 15 months later. Somehow we lived through having three children ages three and a half and younger. I think it was good coffee and good wine.
We’ve weathered the storms of relational hurts and walked through our first-ever conflict with the church. We learned to differentiate between a head relationship with Jesus and a heart one and have landed on the heart. It’s all He wants anyway.
There have been sleepless nights and too much wine and arguments over silly stuff and exhausted mama outbursts more often than I care to admit and years spent looking for lost items. We’ve been angry with one another and cry together when it’s sad and we’ve had child-led dance parties that rock the house. I’ve felt certain at times this marriage would end in divorce and moments later, find myself lamenting over what I would ever do without him.
It’s called life.
And it’s never easy and it rarely goes as planned but, of course, that’s the point.
For if it were easy and followed our agenda we would have no need for the One who created us in the first place.
It’s not supposed to be easy or go as we planned. It’s supposed to be real.
And real is not easy or planned.
Ever.
When you’re an overcomer, one who has weathered a life storm or two, you can spot the others weathering their own storms across a crowded room.
Those who have suffered can identify the suffering. Our broken-but-healed hearts become a detector for other broken hearts.
God takes those ashes and lifts them right on up out of the pit of darkness and transforms them into something beautiful in a way only God can.
But there have to be others who have gone before us to tell their stories, to share the beauty that has become His masterpiece, His greatest work.
It’s the words of an overcomer’s testimony that offers hope. Hope to those rowing the same, or similar boat, you rowed a few years ago.
Triumph is the song we sing but He writes the lyrics. We follow the melody and wait for the next measure, knowing full-well the symphony is not yet complete.
And in the meantime, we dance.
Thank you for taking the time to walk this journey with me. There is power in your story, friend. Tell it.
It is certainly difficult to comprehend this when in the throes of the storm, bot very true. Thanks for sharing, Natalie!
Love this. It is worth the ride for sure–like you said, he makes something beautiful out of the ashes. Love reading your posts and I can identify with most of what you say!!!!!
Thank you, Katy. Yes – beauty from ashes . . . every time.
Thanks for sharing Natalie! I know there are times I wish my life would go as I planned it. However, I have been so blessed and am glad that He knows what is best for me.
You aren’t alone there, girl! I’m so THANKFUL He didn’t go along with my plan – He had far better in store for me…:)
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Thank you, Megan!
Thank you, my dear friend. Beautiful words. Waiting for the next part of the symphony is so hard.
Yes, it is – but the most beautiful symphonies were written over time . . . :)
You are my best thought today. I love the line "triumph is the song we sing, but He writes the lyrics." This summer at my lowest, and guiltiest (aren't Christians supposed to walk in triumph???), I looked at the scripture passage and it said that He leads us in triumph. Oh. It's not my victory we're celebrating, it is His. Our great joy is we get to walk in the parade. And as you said, we get to sing His songs of triumph, not my little ditty of weakness. What joy!
YES. YES. And YES.
Thank you, sweet Kathi Ratcliffe. Be sure to read tomorrow…:)
Well said.
Thank you, Ann! :)
Thank you for all your honesty. I come here to know that we all stumble My life is not going as I had planned and I live in a constant state of fear and anxiety as my husband has turned out to not be as committed to this marriage as I thought he was. I too know the feeling this will all end in divorce and then the swing back to love. It is a horrible place to be sometimes and at others my only option is to throw my self on the cross and pray, which I suspect is exactly where God wants me. I pray that he will teach me to trust in him alone and that he will make beauty out of the ashes that are my life and that I can glorify him as I struggle. Thank you again for your blog
You are so correct in that, Melynda. Yes, when our marriages are hard, and really always, God wants us to seek HIM first. He doesn’t want us to get our identity from our husbands – He wants our identity to be rooted in Him and TRUST Him. I know how hard it is.
You may not be able to change your husband but God will use this to form you into an even more beautiful clay pot than you already are.
Transformation is lovely and necessary to shape us more into His image.
Hang in there, sweet sister.
I am excited about doing your Bible study in our church women’s group! I know it is going to be a very huge blessing to us all.
Thank you, Marilyn! I pray it blesses you all. <3