Dear Women Who Do Crafts,

I regret to inform you that there is indeed a new sheriff in town.

After an hour and a half following the purchase of a glue gun (a glue gun!), this one-time craftily challenged being was able to assemble a Mr. Munching Mouth costume for the Kindergarten Letter People Parade tomorrow.

Notice the real snacks glue-gunned on to the perfectly measured and cut-out M…Notice the mouth and teeth (ironic that his dad’s a dentist, no?) drawn free-hand and colored with fancy washable Crayola markers.

I know you all have felt as though I have never been a threat because I share photos of the cakes I’ve created, like this one:

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And, of course, I don’t ever post photos of my crafts because well . . . I don’t have any to post.

When I finished, I even had a conversation with the middleman that went like this:

Middleman: Mom, where did you get this?

Me (looking slightly offended): I made it.

Middleman (looking dumbfounded and shocked): You made it? Like, you drew it and cut it out and everything?

Me: Yes.

Middleman: (in awe) Whoa . . . I didn’t know you could stuff like that.

Shoot. Before you know it, I’ll be pinning my amazing creations left-and-right.

So I am so sorry sweet, Jenny Yarbrough and Denise Thompson. I know you’re probably shaking in your boots at the competition but I’ll be gentle. But don’t be too worried – there was no sewing involved.

Love,

The New Craft Sheriff

On another note . . . I couldn’t have said this any better. This is why we’re doing the “Love Well Project” friends . . . If judgmental minds drive you bonkers, you’ll want to watch this. Have a good weekend, sweet friends . . . 

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