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The mud. The noise. The quarreling and blaming. Belches that shake the walls. My face showered with runaway spit from ninja-like sound effects.
Sometimes it’s “those” kind of days . . . the days when I wonder what on earth God was thinking when he made me the mother of not one, but two, all-boy boys.
Admittedly, while I love my boys something fierce, there are moments when I think it’s more than I can handle to raise these energetic balls of fire.
And the thing is . . . it is more than I can handle.
That cliche phrase of “God won’t give you more than you can handle” is a bold-face lie.
He continuously gives us more than we can handle because if He didn’t, why on earth would we ever need Him?
I’m not too proud to admit I have more than I can handle when it comes to raising these boys. In fact, I have no idea what I’m doing.
But God does.
So it makes sense to go directly to Him to help us in the raising of His sons to be godly men who fight for His kingdom.
However, those future warriors first need parental warriors who are willing to fight for their developing hearts and the paths they will follow.
There is no better way to fight for our sons than through prayer.
Welcome to Praying for Boys
Today we are discussing the Forward and “Boys Are a Battle Zone”…
Overview of the Forward
1. Cliff Graham, author of the Lion of War series, begins the Forward by pointing out it’s bold and courageous, not to mention counter-cultural, to take a stand for our boys through scripture and prayer.
2. He adds that since his wife and he started to pray scripture over their sons, it’s made a difference in how they view them and their world. He stated,”If they grow up knowing that their mother and father are praying Scripture over them, perhaps they will be so conditioned by the training of God’s Word that they will allow it to take root in their core, becomingly fiercely dependent on Christ for all things.” Amen, Cliff.
Overview of “Boys Are a Battle Zone”
1. We are overwhelmed with love for our boys but we can also be overwhelmed with parenting them!
2. Most of us have no idea how to raise godly men and it’s easy to believe there’s something wrong with our boys. Surely, they’re the only ones who act the way they do!? Yet take heed . . .
3. Boys are different from girls: they’re loud, they like to jump from the top bunk, they like to build forts and hide candy, they break toilets and “go” in anything BUT the toilet, they’re adventurous, they are natural-born protectors, they like to shoot things, they shower you with spit when showcasing their sound-effect skills, and they love their mommies and daddies.
4. The beauty and importance of raising up godly men has become lost. Increasingly, churches are filled with men who have no idea what it means to be a man. They define themselves by their jobs, their cars, or anywhere else except in God. It’s time to enter the battle and take back our sons!
5. Eli was a priest who was entrusted to train, teach, and raise three men: his biological sons Hophni and Phinehas, and Samuel, who was the son of Hannah. Samuel, of course, turned out pretty great but Hophni and Phinehas? Not so much. 1 Samuel 2:12 tells us that Eli’s sons were “scoundrels who had no respect for the Lord.” Worse yet, Eli did nothing to stop them. He didn’t have the courage.
6. Today, we see the consequences of those who lack the courage to parent their boys when men choose to leave the church, leave their wives, and throw out the Word of God. They have no idea what it means to be a godly man.
7. The best way to raise godly men? Pray, sister. Pray. In those moments when we are lost, overwhelmed, heartbroken, and seconds away from waving the white flag in defeat, pray.
8. According to Brooke,
Questions for Discussion: (Please pick at least one to answer in the comment section – feel free to answer more!)
1. Why do you think we need to fight for our sons?
2. What kind of man do you want your son to become?
3. Brooke says, “This book is about the God who loves your son more than you do and wants to work in his heart and life in spite of you as you pray and desperately seek Him.” Sometimes I forget that no matter how much I think I love my children, God loves them more. Does this reassure you? How?
We will discuss “What Is Prayer and Why Should We Do It?” next Monday. Happy reading, boy mamas!
Good morning! I loved the “God loves them even more than I do” quote. I underlined it in my book. Sooo reassuring. He gave His life for them too and already knows their future! On another not: I recently redecorate my sons rooms to put them in together. I wanted pictures/art of Biblical hero’s who looked manly. Like warriors! (Gideon, Joshua, etc) i didn’t find any that looked like someone you would want you sons to look up to – there were lots of sad pictures, pictures of women, pictures of objects (the ark, the ark of the covenant) but no heros! I felt alone like no one else wants what I want for my boys. So glad to have found you ladies!!
That’s a GREAT idea, but how discouraging to not be able to find good images to put on the wall. I’m finding we have to create our communities sometimes to find others that are passionate about God. Looking forward to our discussions!
Yes, agree, Marcie. So thankful we are all here lifting up our boys!!
I loved that so much, too, Holly. SO reassuring. I forget this often because I don’t think anyone could ever love my children more than I do but…He does.
And yes…that is sad. Let’s revolutionize! Maybe we have an artist somewhere in our group who could make prints FOR us? This is a great idea, Holly!
The main reason we have to fight for our boys is because if we don’t the world will teach them how to be men. That is disastrous! But the thing is, sometimes I feel like I’m battling him instead of the world. Plus, my husband and I don’t have very good examples before us for modeling our parenting. So I’m excited about delving into the book. I have 2 daughters as well as one son and I am planning on praying scripture over them as well. I don’t won’t my family to be at all like the one I grew up in, so I need lots of Biblical examples to follow.
My husband had a really terrible role model for a father growing up too and he has really struggled with knowing what it is to be a man. Isn’t it amazing to know that with God’s help, we can change our family legacy? I find so much comfort in knowing that we have the power to change that for our children.
Tara, we have that in common. Same situation with my husband and his father. He also struggles with the same thing…YES – we are cycle breakers. It takes courage to be cycle breakers but we impact generations when we stop a dysfunctional cycle…
So thankful you are studying this with us, Tara!
Good point, Marcie. If we don’t then yes, the world will. My husband also did not have a present father so this is a struggle for us, too. He’s a wonderful man but again, much wasn’t modeled really for either of us.
I would love a Praying for Girls book…:)
I desperately want my son to be a world changer. I want him to be a fearless, courageous, compassionate man of God. I want him to see the hurting people in the world and not be content to sit idly by and do nothing, but to jump right in and get his hands dirty and do something about it. I want to raise him to follow hard after God and not the “American dream”. I want him to be a warrior, a leader, a protector, and a kind and loving husband and father. He’s only 15 months old right now, but he’s already been prayed for daily since before he was born. I will fight this battle for my son’s heart on my knees and with our Father and Creator on my side, I know all these things are possible.
YES. Me, too, Tara. All of the above. And we can never start too early…:)
I am so thankful that God loves my sons so much more than I could image. I know how they have captured my heart and the idea of His love for them being so much greater blows me away! My boys are worth fighting for through prayer. I know how I fail daily in teaching, training and loving them. I praise God that He never fails. Interceding for my sons, covering them with prayer and truth, is their only chance to be Godly men!
I know, Brittainy…It makes me feel like I have such power on my side and well…I do!
Such a great point about our own imperfections – I also fail daily in the teaching, training, and loving them. I do the best I can but alas…we are all disabled by the flesh. So thankful HE isn’t and HE has our backs!
Thanks for commenting, Brittainy!!
Tara, you took the words out of my mouth! I also want my son to be a fearless, compassionate, courageous man of God!
My in-laws just had their 60th birthday and for their present I decided they would appreciate something sentimental more than anything you else so my husband came up with 60 things he loves about his parents that I typed and framed. As I was typing this list I realized, though I know my husband is not perfect in any way, I would cry tears of joy if I receive a similar list from my son (only 7 months old now). Things such as “leading me to Christ”, “teaching me there is absolute truth and that it is found in God’s Word” would be such an answer to prayer for my sweet boy! prayer is so powerful! My mother-in-law prayed those things for my husband since he was born and still sends daily emails listing the scripture she has prayed over him that morning. I hope to be as intentionally prayerful to our wonderful Savior as she is on a daily basis!
That’s just awesome, Tara. I love that your MIL STILL prays for her grown son and sends the scripture she’s prayed over him…Proof it works. :)
Thank you for sharing this, Tara!
I know that God loves my 2 grandsons more than I do. All I have to do us look back and see how we ended up getting them!
We have taken care of them since they were born. At first, it was 3 days a week that turned into 5-6 days a week until Christopher was about 2 years old and Spencer was about 15 months old when we approached their mother (our daughter) to give us temporary custody. We said just let us take care of them until you decide you want to quit using drugs and you have a stable life, etc. She signed those papers without any objection! Later, we went to the judge who awarded us guardianship. So many things and events that could have gone wrong: kidnapping by their father, placement in a foster home, kids being exposed to abuse/ neglect, etc. Thank God orchestrating events and for my prayers on their behalf!
They are such a joy to my husband after raising 3 girls but I got to tell ya, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life!
It was and is a great comfort to read Brooke talk about being a raging introvert because that is ME!
Between my husband and I we have three girls. The oldest lived with her Mommy, and the other two are 6 years apart. I feel like I got twins at the age of 40. I never had to adjust to chaos in the home, I had time to pursue a “good book while sitting in a clean living room”. My house was always cleaned and picked up. And so on.
My husband does not understand why I find raising these boys so difficult. Now, I can explain to him that I am energized by spending time alone and that ” people wear me out”. I work as a psychiatric nurse practitioner and deal with people all day long.
I have had to surrender my expectations of what my life was going to look like after our youngest daughter left home. It’s been hard to say “Lord, Your will and not mine be done”.
God has taught me so much already these past 5 years through these boys and I am content.
Debi, I am in awe of you right now. That took some serious courage to step out and say you wanted to take those boys, you know? You were at a phase of life in which you probably had not planned to raise more children but then . . . God. His plan is always best.
YES. Boys are very, very different than girls. My house…Oh…my house. That’s all I’ll say about that.
Lots of mud tracks. Lots of noise. Lots of battle sounds. Lots of love. Lots of joy.
Guess what? My youngest son is named Spencer! It’s not a name you hear very often…:)
So thankful you’re here, Debi. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!
I want to fight for my sons because they are such amazing gifts from God. I want to be intentional each day in pointing them to God and showing them what a relationship with the creator looks like. I agree with a previous poster- they are going to learn how to be men from somewhere- shouldn’t it be loving parents that help them find all their God-given potential.
I want my boys to grow into Christ-like men, who know how to love, and be loved; forgive, and ask for forgiveness. I pray they have a hunger for God’s Word and a relationship with him. I don’t want the complacent Christian that we often accept. This hunger is something my husband and I are cultivating in our own lives and I want Jacob and Lucas to see how it happens and the difference it can make in your life.
To know God loves them more than I do-WOW! I tell them this often, and my 5 year old can quote it back to me. It makes me feel empowered to have Him available to guide me, but it also convicts me on the days I have tried to handle my boys on my own.
They ARE such gifts, aren’t they? They bring me so much joy – and yes, there are days I have to remind myself of that because well…I’m tired.
Such a good point about the complacent Christian. I don’t want to be lukewarm and I certainly don’t want my children to be either!
Thanks for sharing your heart, Amanda!
Since my oldest son started Kindergarten in the fall, I feel like it is more important than ever to fight for him. On one hand, he constantly is getting reprimanded for the being the rambunctious, playful little boy he was born to be. On the other hand, he has been teased for his huge, beautiful, compassionate heart. My prayer is that he is loved so well at home that he can grow into a great godly man despite the onslaught of outside influences.
Oh, I know what you mean, Ashley…Traditional school can be so difficult for our boys. He’ll develop more self-control as he gets older and it will be less of an issue. Having a big, compassionate heart is WAY more important than taming the wiggles…(And honestly . . . good luck on taming THOSE! HA!)
That’s just it – we want our boys to become godly men DESPITE so much. They have a fierce, praying mama – now THAT’S power…:)
Thank you for sharing, Ashley! So thankful you are here!
Since my oldest son started Kindergarten in the fall, I feel like it is more important than ever to fight for him. On one hand, he constantly is getting reprimanded for the being the rambunctious, playful little boy he was born to be. On the other hand, he has been teased for his huge, beautiful, compassionate heart. My prayer is that he is loved so well at home that he can grow into a great godly man despite the onslaught of outside influences.
I love everything you said in your comment above Amanda!! I want for my son to be a godly man. He is a true gift from God and I tell him that. Thanks Natalie for guiding us through this study!
Like the author says I also forget sometimes that God loves my son more than me. It is a most reassuring feeling that he is loved so much that someone died for his sins (as He did mine). Just to know that those times he is ALL boy and he is so hyper, loud, silly and plain wild and some people may not love that, no matter what our great big God loves him more than anyone can imagine. I pray that he knows how much he is loved by his family but I pray even harder that he always knows God's love for him!
Great discussion. We have to be cycle breakers. My ex husband (my older two baby daddy) was a cheater and abusive…..I found out later that so was his father and grandfather. I pray that is broken in my older 2 daily. I learned about God loving them more than me the hard way. When our divorce started and my ex was crazy out of control and was hurting and being neglectful of my boys (ages 1 and 3 at that time) I would have to buckle them in his car while they cried and reached for me and drive away. I would go into an empty house and hit my knees. I would scream at God for putting my sweet boys through this. He spoke and said ” I love them more than you can imagine. They are mine. I hold them in my hand” powerful. I said okay Lord. I trust you. I knew it did not mean they would never be harmed or sad. But it means God can use everything for their good. That is the CRAZY faith he calls us to.
It is often tough to comprehend that God loves our kids more than we do, especially our craaaazy boys! I also chuckle a bit when I think that we are all created in His image, b/c I have a tough time imagining God doing some of the things my boys do. But, both these thoughts are a comfort for sure. Because when I mess up (notice I said WHEN, not IF) as a mom, God will have my back as long as I trust in Him and pray to him. I will admit I am not good at “praying over” my kids. I need to do better at that, be more intentional with the prayers. I want my sons to be good men. Ones who love their family, wives, God. Kind, considerate, generous, full of love, life and laughter. Not too much to ask..:)
I pray that my son will be a man of God, who stands for what is right, and fights for the glory of God. I need the daily reminder that God loves my children even more than I do , because I so often stand in the way of my own prayer. I can’t tell you the number of times I have been praying for my son and had to stop and pray that this mommy’s heart can handle what I am praying for!
My husband and I are constantly fighting for the attention of our 11 year old son thanks to personal electronics, game consoles and TV shows that he is exposed to and allowed! The barrage of influences that follow him every day is mind boggling and we cringe at what he has already seen and heard from his friends. I have to be aware that fighting for both of my sons (11 & 2) in prayer is knowing that they will not live their life perfectly or in the fashion that I want for them. They will fall to temptations, they will go through trials and tribulations. I need to remember Joseph and David and the trials, temptations and sins that they committed were ultimately redeemed by God. Prayer for my sons is not for a perfect life, but to remember that God loves them no matter what and nothing will ever separate them from His love! I am committed to fighting this spiritual battle for them in prayer.
I think raising our boys for Christ is so important b/c like many of you said, if we don’t raise them, the world will! The hardest part for me is realizing that no matter how much I poor into my son, he has his own free will and he’s going to make his own choices…whether I agree with them or not. I think that is where praying over him is going to be my saving grace. Lots and lots of prayer and knowing that God loves him more than I do! My son is a good boy, but I work at the school where he attends, so I get to see a glimpse into his life that most people don’t have the opportunity to, and I see how the world influences him. I see the absolute utter importance of praying over him and talking with him DAILY about Christ, good choices and everything in between. Every day I see the consequences of parents that don’t care, parents that don’t have Christ in their lives, parents that don’t invest in their children…every day I am praying not only for my own son, but I catch myself praying for ALL the students of our school! =P
I think we need to fight for our sons because just as the book mentions about the men in church not even knowing how to be godly men, satan has found an easy way for destruction of lives and families and that it is through men. Men are supposed to be the leaders of our homes and structure an environment to cultivate a love for Jesus. When that is broken, it becomes difficult to do the work God has called us to do- to spread His love. I want to fight for my sons through prayer so that they can become strong, bold, leaders of their homes to continue Gods work. To show others around them including their wives and their children unconditional love. That all starts with praying for God to mold their hearts to be like His. I want our sons hearts to be pure, genuine and full of courage. I am so thankful that God loves them more than me to fill the gaps when I fail and so I can put my trust in Him when things are out of my control.