A while ago, I got this beautiful package in the mail. I wasn’t expecting anything and the outside of the box looked so lovely.
So being the almost 41 year old woman that I am, I ripped into that package like my kids unwrap presents on their birthdays.
This is what I found:
And who could resist that? So yes, I accepted the invitation to participate in Lysa’s blog tour for her new book, The Best Yes.
Last May, I was blessed to spend a day with Lysa and some other ladies from the Proverbs 31 team learning how to integrate some really great writing strategies into Heart Sisters and everything else I’ll write in the future. Here we are:
You know what I love most about these women? They walk the talk. I think it’s hard to know sometimes if who we are reading, watching or listening to is really the real deal, don’t you think?
Well, I can absolutely vouch for each of these women. They are indeed walking the talk.
You know we are working through a study of Unglued right now but I was super excited to get Lysa’s new book, The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands because well . . . I’ve struggled with identifying my best yes in the past. Ahem. And OK, I still do.
But there has been progress. Imperfect progress (another Lysa-ism from Unglued), but progress nonetheless.
In The Best Yes, Lysa says this:
And immediately, I went back to the moment just two and a half short years ago when my entire family’s future hinged on me getting this people-pleasing thing straightened out.
I talk about this in Heart Sisters (releasing April 15) but let me give you a quick rundown . . .
Jason had had enough. We had a four year old, a five year old, and a seven year old. I was the Coordinator of our MOPS group. I was writing here. I was traveling to conferences. I was volunteering at the kids’ school. I was speaking.
I was maxed out. Completely.
He got my leftovers and since I had nothing left over, he didn’t get a single thing from me. NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH.
And I’m not talking about sex, though he didn’t get much of that either. I’m talking about his wife in general.
When he told me he felt like he was lower than the dog on my list of priorities and things needed to change, I realized for the first time in my life that my husband isn’t just an adult that can manage life on his own.
That’s not why anyone gets married because if they can manage life on their own then why get married in the first place?
My husband needed me and I needed him. I just didn’t know how much I needed him because I was too busy trying to please EVERYONE ELSE.
So the very people I love the most, my children and my husband, were getting the worst of me while people I didn’t even know got the best.
With the help of some of my own dear Heart Sisters, I re-worked my schedule. I pulled out of MOPS. I scaled back on the blog (for that season). I took anything that didn’t work for the betterment of my family out of my schedule and I started to say “no” if it infringed on time away from them.
I invested in margin and the return has been far greater than I ever could have imagined.
Sure, I slip now and then and get it all twisted and need to regroup. But since I’ve walked the path of too much “yes” I can now easily identify other women who also have too much “yes” in their lives.
I see your tired eyes and hear your despairing sighs because NO ONE can get done what you have committed to get done, friend. No one.
And if you do indeed get it all done, there will be a cost – it’s steep and not worth it. Trust someone who’s paid it before.
So Lysa writes to you, friends-like-me-who-want-to-please-others. She also writes to those who are over-scheduled (and might I add you’re usually over-scheduled because you’ve committed to too much because you want to please everyone?). And to those who are always in a hurry and have too little margin.
And just in case you aren’t yet convinced, go ahead and watch this short little video because it made me cry – in a good way. (And every boy in the house in now glued to my side because they freak-out when I’m crying. I love those best yeses…)
More awesome quotes:
- We must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please.
- The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life you live. And how you live your life determines how you spend your soul.
- We have to put our hearts and our minds in places where wisdom gathers, not scatters.
- If you desire to please God with the decision you make and afterward it proves to be a mistake, it’s an error not an end.
- My imperfections will never override God’s promises. God’s promises are not dependent on my ability to always choose well, but rather on His ability to use well.
- Not making a decision is actually a decision. It’s the decision to stay the same.
- Saying no isn’t an unnecessary rejection. It’s a necessary protection of our Best Yes answers.
- It’s not the activities or accomplishments we string together that make lives well lived as much as it is the hearts of wisdom we gain and use along the way.
* This post is part of Lysa TerKeurst’s “The Best Yes” Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE.
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