I was tired. Overworked. Exhausted by the feel of small fingers and incessant demands and naps that weren’t taken.
All three were young. One was five; the others were three and one.
As we walked the aisles of the grocery store, I wasn’t sure I could keep doing this mothering thing. I love my children and I’ve always wanted nothing more than to be a mom. No, I didn’t think it was going to be easy but I just didn’t think it would be so hard.
I turned to grab the peanut butter and then . . .
He was gone.
My three year old. Gone.
There is no panic like the panic a mother feels when she can’t has can’t find one of her babies.
I began to frantically walk the aisles, me with my disheveled hair and need-to-be-washed yoga pants. I faked a calm cry of his name. My other two children began to sense the anxiety.
Two minutes later, a kind man with two of his own children brought my wandering boy to me.
“Ma’am, is this your son?” he asked.
And I wish I could tell you I was a kind and loving mother who welcomed her child back with a big hug and a smile.
But I wasn’t. I was angry. Frustrated. Irritated that my three year old (!) didn’t stay with us.
I still think of that man and wonder if he feels he did the right thing, returning my son to me.
Of course, after he left and we all stopped to allow our hearts time to recover, I did welcome him back with a hug and was indeed able to teach him.
Yet I still remember every detail of that moment as though it just happened this morning.
And apparently, this has been happening for generations. Mary was no stranger to the panic a mother feels when her child is lost:
Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”
“Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he was saying to them.
Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. – Luke 2:41-51
You know what’s funny about this story? It’s the only story found in the Bible about Jesus’ childhood. So why did Mary choose this story, of all the stories she could have told of his childhood, to share with the apostles?
In Not a Silent Night
Jesus had put his parents through a living hell when he could not be found. Yes, even the Savior of all mankind gave his parents fits.
Mary remembered this story because it was traumatic but it was also a defining moment, for it was then Jesus identified God as His father.
“Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you, ” Mary asked.
“Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” He answered. (emphasis mine)
And here’s a fun fact for you . . . Did you know many churches confirm their children at the age of twelve because that’s when Jesus claimed God to be His father?
When Mary and Joseph found Jesus, those around Him were in awe. The Greek words used to describe their awe are existemi, ekplesso and thambeo. These three words mean something along the lines of “blown away,” utterly amazed and in awe.
So often, we think of Jesus’ birth during Christmas and his death during Easter. However, there’s more to it than Him coming to die for our sins. Of course, that’s a big reason why He came but sometimes His other purpose gets overshadowed by the Big Purpose.
Jesus also came to be our teacher. As Hamilton says, ” . . . he was born to show us the way, teach us the truth and invite us to find life.”
“How can He do this when He isn’t even here anymore?” I’ve heard it asked.
But He is here. He’s here in scripture. In the Holy Spirit. In the teachings of our parents who know Jesus, too.
Jesus has taught us and we teach our children.
Let’s teach our children well, friends.
This week, answer any or all of the following in the comment section:
1. Have you ever lost a child while out with him or her? What did you do and how did you find him or her?
2. Jesus is a teacher. What have you learned from His thus far in your relationship with Him?
3. In your opinion, what of Jesus’ teachings was most impactful? Why? (Ideas: The Sermon on the Mount, the Parable of the Sower, the Parable of the Prodigal Son, the Parable of Good Samaritan . . . )
4. Anything else catch your attention in Chapter Three?
I think what blew me away was that Mary did think of this as such a BIG deal to have lost him. In all her humanness told this story over and over because she did think it to be a BIG DEAL IN HER LIFE! But as we are going thru this study Mary so had to keep in check her ‘flesh’ and how she was ‘feeling’ and remember exactly who her kid was, the SON OF GOD! We so have to do this daily with ourselves as mom’s are just being human. Because we never in any way want to interfere with the work the Lord in His doing,has done, or is going to do by who we are in the flesh and not let the Holy Spirit who lives inside of us kick in and take over. I think of this when she is standing at the cross. I can’t imagine how she seriously didn’t go crazy knowing her son was there and did NOTHING to deserve it, but got thru it because she reminded herself exactly WHO He was. Dying to flesh sure makes some things very hard.
I know, Marlece. I hear you. I still can’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like for Mary. We had some great discussion last week during our Facebook chat about whether or not Mary fully understood what her Son would do. I land on the fact that she did know her Son was special because obviously, He was conceived by God. But I also don’t think she fully understood what was happening when He was on the cross. I think she more clearly understood it after the resurrection – which would have made the cross scene even more unbearable.
In the end, she was still His mother no matter what. To lose Him like that at the Temple obviously pulled on her mama-heart strings…:)
Thanks for reading and commenting, Marlece! <3
First of all, how did MONDAY pass without me noticing? I must say that this study is helping me take a breathe and slow down to reflect…this week, just a day or two late. :-) As I read this chapter, and the previous 2, I am surprised that I never really put Mary’s human feelings into the mix. God gave her a child….child was crucified…she obeyed, but that obeying did not erase her nurturing…her all encompassing love for her boy. She was indeed a remarkable woman, hence the reason God chose her.
Of my three children, our youngest was the only one lost for a bit. We were at our small country fair and I was “babysitting” animals in the rabbit barn for my older daughter’s 4-H project. Beth was 3 and was with her 13 year old brother, sister and cousin who were about 10. They were taking her to look at something long forgotten. It was in the afternoon and they would not be passing through the carnival area. They would be in the area of the grounds that had the 4-H and FFA families (Many of whom we knew)and no riff raff. I reminded them to hold hands…to go straight there and back. All was fine until 30 minutes later when THREE, not 4, children walked back with scared, panicked looks on their faces. I can still remember the adrenaline rushing through me as well as the very clear thinking. I was hyper focused…sent the girls one way and my son another. In the end, she was been found by a lady at the animal shelter who took her to a policeman. She knew her name and her parent’s names and we were summoned over the PA system. As we were all reunited, I admit I was not a happy camper with the older kids. My fear and relief all came rushing to the surface. We found a table out of the way and sat down and cried. All of us for a minute. I can not imagine the feeling of helplessness for three days in a place like Jerusalem with so many people! Or the Mamas now who never find their babies. I can’t grasp that fear…
Being nonjudgmental is something that I am striving to gain from Jesus’ teachings. So often my initial reaction to a person is based on their appearance, actions, whatever. I am trying to stop that habit. I’m getting better but there is so much more.
I also found the reason of confirmations at 12 very interesting and more meaningful.
Thanks for this, Natalie..I am loving it!
I can’t believe that I am just getting around to commenting. UGH!!!
Parenting is hard and I can’t even imagine the stress and anxiety that raise the savior would have brought. I know that I am constantly worried that I will do something to mess up my kid’s childhood, or effect who they grow up to be, and I am completely in awe of how Mary handled raising Jesus. Yes, Joseph and Mary were so worried about Jesus when he went missing, but they kept their heads and kept on looking, never once giving up, like any parent would do. The amount of pressure on them, though, must have been so overwhelming considering their child was the son of God.
I love the fact that Jesus knew who he was. He knew who his true father was and this got me thinking…If he recognized who he was in regard to God, would he have known at that time what his true purpose on earth was?
Oh, and the thought of Jesus teaching at the age of 12…amazing. Absolutely amazing.