Thank you to sweet Bethany Grove for writing today’s post!
Failure at motherhood.
Those three words strike fear in my heart. I never want to fail my children or feel like I have given a vain attempt at being a mom.
Motherhood has always been hard but with the emergence of the “Pinterest perfect mother,” there are a trillion expectations that aren‘t always easy to attain. The taunting, condemning voices float around my head and accuse me of not being enough. They often start out with “You need to do _____,” or “You should have done_____.” Sometimes, they also start with “Why did you do_____” and “How could you have done_______?”
And, if I’m being truthful here . . . sometimes it’s not just the voices that cause the pain.
Guilt felt from the PTO meeting I can’t attend. A gazillion fundraisers from school that are coupled with shame for not seeing them as important and worthy of my time. Friends hosting parties for their children that are reminiscent of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” fill me with humiliation for just having small, family gatherings for my children.
So. Much. Judgment.
But, why? Where do all these expectations come from?
I once thought society put the weight of being the perfect mother on my shoulders and it most certainly plays it‘s part. However, after reading Chapters Seven and Eight of You’re Already Amazing, I came to the realization that I’m really the only one that places the majority of the burden upon myself.
There was one statement that Holley made that really hit home for me…
“Expectations are laws we place on ourselves and each other.”
I am the one choosing to believe that I must be perfect.
I can either choose to fan the spark of perfection and eventually burn out or I can find rest and sanctuary in God’s word and choose to live by love.
Romans 6:14 states, “For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.”
This verse releases so many unspoken expectations—unspoken expectations that have become unspoken “laws.” I am covered by God’s grace. God doesn’t think I need a spotless house, an impeccable wardrobe, or every hair in place.
On page 137, Holley reminds us that God only wants three actions from us…to do what is right, to love mercy and to humble ourselves before God. It sounds so simple when we think of it this way, doesn’t it? I know I can accomplish those tasks without hindrances.
Thanks to this week’s chapters, reminders from Holley, and God’s beautiful scripture, I can breath a enormous sigh of relief and release the burdens I place on myself.
No more guilt. No more shame. No more fear.
Only love and grace. And that’s freedom.
So for today’s discussion, choose any of the following to answer in the comment section:
1) Most of us have busy schedules. What’s the difference between “life to the full” and simply “a full life”?
2) Expectations are like laws we place on ourselves. “You are not under the law, but under grace” (Rom. 6:14). What are some of the expectations you place upon yourself?
3) If you knew you would be completely loved and accepted no matter what, then which item would you cross off your to-do list?