There I was, on a Tuesday afternoon chatting with my sweet friend Erin from “It’s Grace” when suddenly, my bedroom door opened.
I panicked for a brief moment because my husband had been on a hunting trip for five days and was not due home until the following day. My two year old was napping. My other two were at preschool.
And there in the doorway stood the bearded, unshowered huntsman I married almost seven years ago.
One day early.
He left without his coveted buck but came home with so much more.
I don’t write very often about my marriage because well, I’m not a COMPLETE idiot. Even I know better than to blog about the most sacred-est of unions.
However, we both have been feeling the wear of this particular season in our life – the season of raising little people.
I don’t do enough. He doesn’t do enough. We’re exhausted. Irritations surface over the most trivial of things. It’s a bit of a challenge to have a conversation in our home (can anyone say “constant interruption”?) The list could go on.
Instead of working together in a partnership, we found ourselves on opposite teams competing for the same state trophy.
Neither of us are sure how it happened but it did.
Don’t get me wrong – we were happy enough. I love that man completely and I know he feels the same about me. That never wavered. We knew when we signed up for this gig that there are peaks and valleys in a marriage and we had been walking in a valley.
There weren’t a lot of deer to be preyed upon as JJ sat in his stand so he found himself doing some reading on, of all things, Christian marriage.
A long, heartfelt email was sent and his arrival a day early allowed us to reconnect and chat about how to get out of the valley and back to a peak.
For the past five days, I can say that we are climbing our way back up.
I’m spending time on Colossians 3:14 this week which reads “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Ironic? Nah. God does stuff like this constantly. It’s just whether or not we choose to see it.
We’re back to putting on love. We’re back to remembering why we thought so highly of one another. I’m back to feeling cherished; he’s back to feeling respected. We’re in a good place.
Marriage is wonderful – it allows us to know one another in a way no one else ever will. At the same time, let’s be real, too: marriage is hard.
The differences between men and women alone are abundant enough – then we are put together to sort through life, raise little human beings, and serve our God.
Sometimes we truly are on different planets and it takes some space to sort through the junk that has coalesced into our stubborn little brains.
Since it’s the week in which we focus on gratitude a little bit more, I’m including 20 things this week instead of ten. My list of 1,000 things continues – I am so very thankful for:
181. A husband who is committed to honoring his wife
182. A husband who leads his family with a love for God and immense integrity
183. A husband who produces crazy belly laughs from our children
184. A husband who listens and hears my heart
185. Popcorn
186. Pumpkin rolls
187. Finding a detangler for Susannah’s hair that actually works (Aveda Brilliant Damage Control and yes, I realize the ridiculousness of using Aveda on a five year old but it’s the only one I’ve found that actually works)
188. Our small group
189. My mother, whose crazy support and bulldog-like vigor for lashing out at anyone who hurts me in anyway has carried over to myself with my own children (“Brenna Clossin, I know your in those bushes!!!!”)
190. Belly laughs and watching the kids dance to “Work It Out” by Devo (courtesy of “Yo Gabba Gabba”)
191. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
192. A short work/school week for JJ and the babes
193. My Meemo, who at 84 is still a source of joy and wisdom in our lives
194. Slobbery kisses from Ellie Rose (our seven year old yellow lab)
195. Electric blanket season is back!
196. A fantastic cookbook my mother sent me – Weight Watchers “Best One Dish Dinners” Fall 2010. We’re three for three so far…
197. The Christmas decorations are coming out which means
198. The Grinch and Rudolph DVD’s are back!
199. Which means that I get to snuggle with Sawyer as he traumatizes over how scary the Grinch guy is but loves Darth Vader
200. a God that is one of reconciliation, who doesn’t want to see his believers in strife.
May we “put on love” this week as we celebrate every blessing we’ve been given and thank the One who makes it all so.
What a lovely list of things to be thankful for!
.-= Ordinary Em´s last blog ..Thanksgiving Challenge-Turkey v Circs =-.
I think we all go through those peaks and valleys, and if we are strong and focused enough we can make it through! So glad to hear you are back on top and I think those of us who have “perfect” lives but still struggle sometimes like to read that a “perfect” marriage such as yours still has it’s ups and downs. My man goes to Canada to fish in June…. hopefully we won’t be needing space from each other when he goes, but I know from past trips he loves me just that little bit more when he returns!! :)
You took the words right from my own heart. We’re in a valley right now, too. we love one another….well….you understand. clearly. :) thank you for this post.
Love reading your blogs….I admire your willingness to consistently be vulnerable and honest about ….life…and how you repsond to it.
Love, love, loved hearing how you and Jason are both working hard to keep your marriage full of love, gratitude and the perseverance to work together to make it stronger. Hats off to both of you!
Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and loved ones….
Love
Lana
I love ‘hunting trips’ each year I think I look forward to it as much as Jim does. The Lord uses this time for both of us to reflect and access. I am glad your man came home early, knowing it’s a sacrifice to leave that big bad buck behind. Obviously, he heard from the Lord and did the right thing. That is a turn on right there just knowing that isn’t it? Sounds like a fresh start and that always feels good. Great post, encourages and uplifts. Thanks!
.-= marlece´s last blog ..making time for relationship =-.
Loved this! And your reaction when he walked through the door was priceless, I loved it!!!
So happy that you’re working on your marriage. That’s not something just for when we’re in a trouble spot, hole or valley. Praying for you guys as you climb up to that peak. And more so, I pray that God uses this time to bring you closer than ever before.
Love you friend,
E
God bless you and your lovely husband, my dear! Bill and I went through a similar valley several years ago, but we pulled out stronger than ever. And I love your “thankful for” list. Perhaps I should make my own… :) :)
confession : when asked how i could possibly be reading ‘bird by bird’ for about the 5th time …i answered, “it is so delicious ~ sometimes i want to lick the page.”
love you, natalie. you’re high on this year’s ‘i’m thankful for’ list.
Beautiful list of wonderful gifts. :o)
.-= Christy´s last blog ..Christmas Card Fun! =-.
I love that God uses marriage to make us holy….not happy. To be refined you HAVE to walk through those valleys. Thanks for putting all that into words. :) That Aveda product is the best around!!!!!!