The heavy ball slowly rolled down the lane and we wait…
In anticipation, we wait. Would that spinning cyclone knock over any pins?
As I watch boys crawl over ball racks and laugh at their silly shoes and hear a girl squeal in delight over her strike, I began to think of what I anticipate as I watch these three bowling balls launch down the alley of life.
I don’t pray for them to be happy. No. That’s just not reality. There will be times of happiness, yes. But to not prepare them for the trouble we are guaranteed to experience this side of heaven?
That’s setting them up for a life of gutter balls.
I pray for them to have courage. To know what is “right” and what is “wrong”. To seek truth when the darkness envelopes a life of light, of one doing His work but can also easily be torn apart by a toxic person in the flesh or the enemy in spirit.
The truth is, sometimes they will bowl a strike. Sometimes they will bowl a spare. Other days just a few pins will topple. And they are guaranteed to have gutter balls.
And I pray. Oh, do I pray and not just for them. I pray for God to protect them from me. Imperfect, horribly human old mom. To shield them from my tired, 7 o’clock sighs and shortened 5 o’ clock fuse. That they will know how much they are cherished despite the fact that I sometimes can’t control my tongue. That God’s grace will cover my flesh and allow them to grow into healthy, well-adjusted adults that flourish despite a shockingly-flawed mother.
A belly laugh. A squeal. A boy asking me to look how strong he is as he holds his ball high. A smashed finger. A slow roll down the alley followed by a fast one. Gutter balls.
It’s all part of the game.
My sweet friend Erin from “It’s Grace”, who I DO have the honor of knowing in real life and is a sister of the heart, is starting her new meme today! It’s called “Mama’s Heart”. Have you ever visited her blog? PLEASE. Go now.
What truth there is in your post! While I may wish a life of only joy and prosperity for my children, God knows that is not best for them. As we learn throughout our lives, it is often during the painful, sometimes intense, struggles that we grow the closest to our Lord. Thanks for sharing your beautiful Mama’s Heart today!
Hey — I just happen to be shockingly flawed, too. Who knew? Yes — you know, I pray that I would not pass on my junk, that they would carry with them my strengths, but not my faults, that they would hear in their hearts my loving voice and not the strung-out 5 PM one…
Great analogy…and so true!
BTW, I commented back to your comment on my blog but, my comments don’t have that fancy “reply” function so, you may have to just hop back over to see it!
Theresa
From one flawed mom to another – I share your pain of messing up and your joy at knowing God’s grace!
What a beautiful post! I often pray to God for my daughters, too. And I often pray for him to protect them aganist me too. When I get frustrated, I tend to lash out and get hurt when my daughter startes to cry. Her look gets me to calm down and breath. Argh! How I want to stop doing that.
I also pray that my children will survive me — the same 5:00 fuse, the same languishing sighs at 7:00, and the frustration of sometimes not getting them to bed before my exhaustion and temper take over. And yet, they still wake up the next morning and say,”I love you!” and it melts my heart. I like the praying for courage and not necessarily happiness suggestion. I will do that from now on. :) Thank you my dear! :)
Well, dear friend…I’m experiencing another one of those tear-filled, wonderfully poignant moments from you..again! Thanks…I’m really praying they’ll survive me lately…like most women I don’t handle Winter well…although, I figure being conscious of that fact is half the battle. I had a “hollering” kind of morning…ickity, ick, ick! God is gracious…God is good…Praise Him…for His unfailing mercy!!
I loved this! I actually saw it last night- it popped up on my FB blogroll. I noticed that we both addressed fears. Oh, how we love our babies and want the best for them.
Thank you for joining me, for your support and for directing me to a better blog hop tool. Oh, and for dealing with my frantic texts this morning :)
Love you,
E
This post spoke right to my heart – as I struggle with my own 5:00 short fuse and other shortcomings. And thanks for the reminder that their own mistakes and failure are how they grow stronger – it’s sometimes hard to resist the urge to be a “helicopter mom.”
Oh Natalie, you have been blessed with such a gift. Your writing touches my heart and brings tears to my eyes so many times and I can’t tell you how often I hear God’s voice through your words. You are being so ‘obedient’ and God is using you. Thank you for your beautiful post.
I am sitting in the hospital room holding my dear sweet 3 week old whose chest is rattling with congestion and RSV and I am reading your blog. Oh how I hope and pray my children survive me. Oh how I pray I survive me and all the mommy guilt of my horrible parenting moments. Like yesterday when I yelled at my poor sweet 4 year old for putting her germy day-care hands in her mouth and then loving on her precious baby brother, secretly blaming her that he was sick, then being angry at myself for doing so. I also pray my children have strength. Strength to overcome all those gutter balls that come from this unhappy world. I pray God teaches me to number my days so that I don’t forget to live each day to the fullest and for his glory and so I don’t forget to show my kids the love and constant grace they give me even in my worst moments. Oh how I pray my children grow up to love GOD with all their heart, all their soul, and all their mind.
Thank you for your beautiful post that made me cry – once again ;) Love you, dear friend!
Oh N – I totally understand the prayer to protect them from our brokenness. Speaking from a mom who has raised 3 – now grown children…I’ve seen first hand the tears and scars from my sins and their effects on my children. I am ALSO seeing His GRACE covering .. praying so much of Isaiah for my family right now.
YOU are an amazing bible teacher…you have a gift. I can see your heart through your writing and your children will to. You have and will teach them well.
FOR ME – I am unlearning and RE learning so much in parenting…about myself. IT never STOPS no matter how old we get or they get…He will pursue you your whole life..you are so sought after friend. The important thing is that your IN the game!
xo – have a peace filled weekend…enjoy those gifts…kids;)
I always pray that God will take all of my imperfections as a mother and turn them to good for my children. (Romans 8:28) I love the way you worded it – “I pray for God to protect them from me.” You have beautiful words to share!!
I cannot tell you how many times I heard my mom say, God gave her to me, and I just tried not to mess her up, LOL! And, yea, I too pray the same for my children, that God will protect them, even from mom when she’s moody :)
I’m just a mouthful of yeses here. I pray the same for my three… knowledge of Him and who He says they are, a tender relationship with Him to guide them through the storms, grace to cover my sins as a mama. And so much more. Lovely post, thank you for sharing your heart.
I pray for words that will build these children up, not break them down. But my tongue often gets ahead of my heart (and my head). Even so, they know I love them, all the time, not matter what. And you give me a new prayer to pray….that God would protect them from the things I say and do that might make them doubt it, even for a second.