I feel your tired body against mine
Wrestling against the fierce opponent of sleep.
You just won’t do it, baby boy,
There’s much to miss out upon.
I hold your two-and-a-half year old self
And rock you in the green chair.
I sing songs and attempt to freeze
This precious time into a memory snapshot.
You are the last one.
You are my baby.
But you’re not much of a baby anymore are you?
There are hints of babyhood now and then but you’re not really one.
Anymore.
And while I yearn to watch you grow and
Embrace God and our world,
I now understand why time is often
A mother’s worst enemy.
The time is coming soon when you’ll be too big to hold,
Or you’ll think it’s weird that your mama still desires to rock you to sleep.
I recognize this is normal, with a pang in my heart.
Let me rock you a little longer and bury my nose in your hair
Let me sing to you as we lounge in the green chair
Let me hold you and love you and snuggle in tight
Let me guard it in my memory with all of my might.
I’m joining in with my sweet friend Erin from It’s Grace today for “Mama’s Heart”.
Do you know Erin? Love. Her.
If this isn’t a tearjerker, I don’t know what is. I so desperately miss those cuddle moments. Tonight I cuddled in Luke’s bed and read him a Thomas the Train story and I thought I’d died and gone to heaven when he nestled his head into my shoulder. Pure bliss.
This was wonderful, friend. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful mama’s heart.
Love you.
Erin
I hear you – I DEVOUR Samuel when he cuddles with me now. I have learned to relish every ounce of it. Pure bliss indeed!
Love you too, dear one!
Oh Natalie……this speaks for all Momma’s who miss rocking their babies and enjoying those special snuggle moments.
I can so relate! I’d love to rock my nearly 30 year old ‘baby’ and my 28 year old ‘baby’. Savor those sweet and very precious moments!
Sam recently got engaged so maybe I can look forward to a grandbaby in the future. :)
Thank you for sharing these heartfelt treasures.
Hugs!
Lana
Yay, Lana! What great news! I’m so happy for Sam – and you. A daughter for you? WOOHOO!
You will be the MOST PERFECT grandmother ever – what a blessing those little babies will be to you and what a blessing for them that you are their grandma! :)
But I have to say, you certainly don’t LOOK like a grandmother!
My mother very sweetly told me recently that although she LOVES my children, and snuggling them…it’s not quite as sweet as when she held her own children. She still misses when she could snuggle us! I told her if I sat on her we’d break the rocker! LOL! This poem is precious…thank you!
I could see that…I will love my grandchildren with a crazy love but yes, there can’t be anything like your own because YOU are their mama – not someone else.
Thanks for sharing this, Bobbi!
This is beautiful! I am feeling this same pain in my heart. My daughter turns 4 next month and my son 2 in May and I am struggling with it big time!! Where did the time go? They are both not babies anymore…and ones no longer even considered a toddler!!
And I want more…but I am not sure if that will happen for us. So, like you, I am embracing each moment and trying to freeze it…or at least just hold onto it as long as I can!
Freeze it, girl! Obviously, I’m rowing the same boat! :)
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Oh, sigh…..
It happens too quickly. And my first isn’t even 2 yet.
Yes. Far too fast.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Cindy!
so sweet, there is nothing like our babies….NOTHING like it! We do want to freeze time don’t we? Love this!
You are right, Marlece – there is NOTHING that comes close to the intense crazy love I have for my children. I have NEVER had a love I would literally die for until I now – exactly the same kind of love Jesus has for us.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
This is such a beautiful post. Today marks one month until my oldest turns 5. And come August, she starts school. Something I am finding a hard time embracing. Something I know I need to pray to God to let me enjoy these times and embrace them as they come. I can just stare into space and let all the memories of the past 6 years (starting with my pregnancy) overflow my mind and want to cry while letting them.
Even though, I often tell her I love her, give her hugs, and kisses, I should do it more. Today she is sick with a cold. I am embracing the chance to take care of her. Making her hot tea, taking her a bath in Johnson’s Soothing Vapor Bath, letting her lay in my husband’s and my bed to watch cartoons with vapor rub on her neck and hot tea by her side.
Pray she gets better, but pray I embrace her upcoming birthday and upcoming start in school.
OH. Yes. This time last year I was in the exact same spot. It PAINED me to think my little baby girl was going into Kindergarten! It’s exciting and yet so bittersweet. Prayers for you!
I have been struggling with this so much this past year. My kids are 9 and 5. I keep telling them to stop growing and they just won’t listen! :) My goal has always been to enjoy every age and I do, but there is something sad about losing the cuddle stage when they need mama so much and watching them spread their wings.
Yes, there really is, Marci. I am with you – so far, each stage has been fun and very joyful but there is a bit of bittersweetness (yes, I made that word up) when we transition from one stage to the next.
are you trying to make me cry? My son turned in Sept. our last baby. I ache that he struggles to get off my lap to go fishing and golfing with daddy. Yet secretly rejoice when he curls up with me and says, “I cuddle you”. YES YES – keep cuddling a bit longer!
beautiful !!
Yes, my middle guy is the same way – he’s ALL about Dad and riding in his truck, playing Mario Kart, going to Home Depot…It’s SO cute to watch and yet so catches me because I want him to still be my little mama’s boy!
Love that he says “I cuddle you”! SO cute!
So sweet! Looking forward to that again!
thx for sharing! <3 TRACI
Yes, you lucky dog…You have one coming this fall! :) I wish I could say I wasn’t even just a tad bit envious but…I can’t. :)
Thanks for reading, Traci!
I came across your blog via SomeGirls and I love this post. I was just thinking this morning how I miss my baby girl, who is about to turn 7 in less than 2 months. She is my only child and I know she was a gift from God. Looking forward to reading more of your blog.
oh beautiful mama…well, you know when we first connected I had written ‘the way of mothers’…this is it…
my 3.5 year old boy snuggled and cuddled today after nap and didn’t even want daddy (who he adores and is SO TIGHT WITH) just mommy cuddles:)
thank you friend…i love sharing mama hearts…you said in that first comment that it is different with boys…and your ‘baby’:)