An empty cup with no overflow. Not enough sleep. Stretched in too many different directions and often feeling like I’m letting someone down if I keep the plates spinning at the same time.
Unattainable expectations. The worst kind.
High expectations from others and my failure to lay it completely at His feet can lead to frustration and worry and yet it’s my choice as to how I react. I let the frustration and worry come instead of the trust and the knowing.
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10
Well, am I? Is that what’s going on here? Am I placing more importance on the approval of others than possessing the faith that I’m following His plan and direction?
Yes. As a matter of fact, I am.
Just another branch that’s being cut-off so it can hopefully one day bear fruit. Pruning.
Exasperated, I thought to myself, “It’s never enough for anyone, is it?”
Immediately, I know it’s not His voice but then I hear one that is.
“Precious child, you as you are right now is enough for me but I do know the plan I have for you and the plan is good. I’m not going to let you stay in this “enough for me” spot because I love you too much to keep you there.
Leave those who persecute you to me.
Leave those demands that make you weary and overwhelm you with a hopelessness to me.
Leave the petty stuff to me.
Leave those who are closed off to learning to me.
Leave those who judge to me.
Leave those who mistreat you to me.
Leave yourself to me.
It’s not your job anyway.”
So I release the grip a bit and I lay it at the foot of the altar knowing that I will likely have to do so again. And again. But that He, the one who was and is and is to come, stays the same.
And that alone makes me want to live for only His approval, to be a true servant, to not worry about the reactions of others as long as my actions are firmly rooted in Him.
Because that’s His job.
Alas, another Monday. Thank you God for:
521. The sound of cicadas on a sunset walk
522. Three year old giggles
523. Hearing Samuel say “That dress looks really pretty on you, Mommy.” Swoon.
524. An anniversary dinner with the man who is still my favorite date and will be forever.
525. Your reminders gifted to us through scripture.
526. Culver’s Frozen Custard and those sinful “Flavors of the Day”
527. Culver’s Vanilla Diet Pepsi – my new obsession
528. Pruning me. Yes, it’s hard. No, it’s not fun. Yes, I know it will make me more like you. And yes, I know I have a long way to go.
529. Two green tomatoes in our garden
530. Sprouting peppers
531. The awe of young children interested in how vegetables begin as a flower
532. The desire to actually try a tomato because they grew it
533. Beautiful and spiritually-mature friends who are safe
534. Being a God who sees.
535. Hearing my youngest son say “actually” in his three year old drawl
536. My Meemo who loves to have our wild crew over to swim
537. Watching my Meemo do the same things she did with me as a child now with my own children
538. A mom who loves my children about as much, if not more, than I do
539. A gentle answer that turns away wrath
540. Stories of redemption such as Unplanned by Abby Johnson, former Director of a Planned Parenthood in Texas who, after assisting in an abortion, quit her job and is now on the “other side of the fence.”
This week, may you live to please Him and Him alone.