It’s so easy to live safe. And I’m so often guilty of doing it.
We go to church. Talk to other Christians after it’s over. Attend Bible study. Use Christian phrases like “hedge of protection” and pray for our loved ones to have “traveling mercies.”
We can have wonderful fellowship at women’s luncheons. We can teach Sunday School. We can go to a Christian concert.
And mind you, none of this is bad.
Unless it’s ALL we do.
Though it’s certainly easier (usually) and feels like a great social club, living in a Christian bubble is not how Jesus wants us to live.
He wants us to do all of the above AND get out and serve his sick people. And sometimes the sick person needing to be served is . . . you. None of us are above needing to be served at some point in our lives.
Putting skin on our faith means we don’t just read scripture – we live scripture.
The scripture that tells us to get out and be the hands and feet of a Jesus who no longer has physical hands and feet.
In Chapter Seven of Rhinestone Jesus, author Kristen Welch talks about her family’s journey of beginning The Mercy House in Kenya.
Saying “yes” to God isn’t ever easy. It’s exciting, yes. But it can also be terrifying because sometimes we don’t really believe He’s going to equip us when He calls us to something. Or maybe that’s just me.
And it’s so easy to read Rhinestone Jesus and think “Well, good for her. But what about me? Am I not saying yes to God if I don’t open a maternity home in Kenya?”
As we’ll see in the next few chapters, this isn’t what Kristen is suggesting. Her family’s “yes” will be different from your family’s “yes.”
But how do we know what we say yes to?
Chapter Eight begins with Kristen sharing a story in which she became frustrated with her kids after returning from their first trip to Kenya because they were angry they had to share candy.
Yet in the end, her children were indeed changed during the trip; however, they are still disabled-by-the-flesh human beings. Just like us.
Kristen’s family is a typical family with arguing siblings, tired parents, and loads of laundry; they aren’t very different from your family or mine.
However, the Welch’s live counter-culturally. As Kristen stated on page 131, “It’s hard when your normal isn’t normal.”
In other words, when we live to serve others through love and compassion and don’t always bow to what society tells us is normal – like buying cell phones for middle school-aged children or granting permission to play video games intended for adults – we aren’t really very “normal.”
But it’s certainly a “normal” I would prefer.
On pages 135-136, Kristen lists twelve areas her family focuses on to live counterculturally. It’s an impressive list but she recommends starting with two: crafting a family mission statement and gathering for a family meal each day.
I was incredibly motivated to write a family mission statement after reading Kristen’s thoughts on this. I also love that she included an easy to follow template to help us write our own mission statements.
A family mission statement is how we determine what we say yes to and what we turn down.
On another note, shared meals allow our family to reconnect after a busy day and have fun.
And get this – a study sponsored by the University of Florida discovered these positive things about families who eat together:
1. Kids are less likely to use drugs.
2. Families are noted as happier.
3. Kids have better grades.
4. Couples enjoy stronger marriages.
5. Kids adjust better to life in general.
6. Families produce healthier kids with better eating habits.
Of course, if you aren’t sitting down for a family meal every day, there is no condemnation. This isn’t shared to make you feel guilty but rather to encourage you to make it a priority. Can’t do it every day? Shoot for three times a week and work your way up. Start small.
For today’s discussion in the comment section, answer any or all of the following:
1. Do you feel like you are controlling your family’s schedule or is it controlling you? If it’s controlling you, how did it get so crazy?
2. Describe your mission as a family in one sentence (this can be a springboard to create your mission statement!)
3. Are family dinner a high priority in your house? If not, what can you do need to change to make that happen?
4. Share anything that struck you from Chapters Seven and/or Eight.
Challenge for Study Participants (and anyone else!): Create a family mission statement this week…You will have the opportunity to share yours next week in our Facebook group (completely optional!)
Even with everyone’s activities, we sit down to dinner together every night. Granted, some nights it’s 8:00, but we make it a priority. As my children get older it becomes more and more important to keep the lines of communication open, and sitting down at the table to share a meal is the perfect opportunity for this.
Amy, you are so wise – I agree. The older my children get, the more I see how CRITICAL it is to have that time together as a family. If it has to be 8 p.m., it has to be 8 p.m. I applaud you for making it a priority – and your children will always remember it…Which means they’ll do with their children – you’re impacting generations!
Thank you for reading and commenting!!
While the kids are young, we have full control over their schedule. It has been difficult at times with their therapies to always feel like I am in control of their schedule, but right now we are in a good place. I love having family dinners together, and although we can’t do it every single night, we aim to do it as many times as we can during the week.
We haven’t written a family mission statement yet (although this will be discussed this week!), but I imagine that since faith and service are so important to my husband and me, that this will be included in the statement.
I just had a discussion this morning with my husband about something that will cause us to take a dip out of our finances to help others, and I had to laugh when I thought back to the discussion between Terrell and Kristen when he was telling her that this could ruin them. That is so how my husband thinks! He is definitely the more realistic thinker out of the two of us while I am the dreamer who wants to save everyone.
Another thing that hit me was the line “Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers” – That has always been something I have thought about. I want people to know that there is something different about me, my marriage, my family, and that difference is God in our lives.
One last thing (I know – I know…writing a book here) – I love the idea about the basket next to the table with Bibles, books, pens, and a gratitude journal. What a great idea! They are right there as soon as we need them, and we don’t have to break the flow of conversation (or throwing Cheerios) to get to them.
Blessings
Man, Ginny…we ARE kindred spirits. I think it’s so natural for our husbands, who tend to be the breadwinners (not always, I know, but generally) because they see the dollar signs and we believe “God will provide.” And He does – as long as we are being obedient. I think where Jason gets nervous is what if our discernment was off? What if we get in to this and we discover we weren’t supposed to be doing this and now we have all kinds of money down the tubes? He is a very faithful man but at the end of the day, the stress of a provider is very different than the stress of a dreamer. :)
I also loved the “something is wrong when our lives make sense to other believers” part. I was going to talk about this in today’s post but it was already too long…:)
And YES – I love the basket idea, too! I also loved the idea of reading something at the dinner table…
Don’t ever apologize for writing a lot, Ginny – I LOVE it! <3
We are not normal. We have chosen not to overload our schedules with extracurricular activities. We always end up (kids included) disappointed that we don’t have the freedom to get together with family, go to the annual events that we love or go on a spontaneous vacation when we are committed to other activities. I purposely don’t overplan. Life is busy enough without planning things to take up the time. :)
I read Visionary Marriage by Rob and Amy Rienow a few years ago. There was a mission statement in it that I have adopted as my own. So glad for the reminder to look back at it. “I realize that our home is the primary place where we will all grow as a family in godly character. I want to create an environment where my husband longs to come back to when he is finished at work. I want my home to be a place of spiritual refreshment. I desire peace in my home. May it be a place where we learn to deal with conflict biblically and forgiveness flows easily. As Christians, we are the light of the world. I long for our home to reflect that light through hospitality, and that spirit of hospitality begins with the way I serve my own husband and children. I know that if we cannot learn to serve each other at home, then any service we are doing outside the home will not be authentic.”
Daddy can’t always make it to the table to eat with us, but the kids and I always sit down to eat together. One of our favorite things is to talk about lows and highs from the day. We also enjoy playing “Would You Rather…”, but we like to play animal edition. We come up with two animals. Sometimes the animals are crazy, but never crazy circumstances. It’s just for fun. :)
I haven’t finished reading yet, but I agree with “Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.”
Stephanie, thank you so much for sharing this. I absolutely love it. I think it’s a great mission statement for us as Jesus following women. I’m going to print that out and put it on my fridge!
We are in the same boat – Jason can’t always join us but the kids and I sit down as well. We share “best part, challenging part” but I love the idea of “would you rather?” I think we’ll do that tonight!!!!
Thanks again for sharing, Stephanie!
We have little boys so we still manage to eat together as a family most nights. When I was in high school (long ago) and practices and games interrupted the evenings……breakfast was the family meal. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing in the morning routine and we all ate together at 7am everyday. Sometimes that may be easier and a great way to set the tone for the day!
Mission statement- going to work on that!!
That’s awesome, Holly! You raise a good point – it doesn’t HAVE to be dinner, does it?
I’m with you – we’re going to work on the mission statement, too…
Thanks for reading and commenting, Holly! <3
Very good article. Esp. appreciated the list of positive results for the family that eats together. We tried to practice that at least several times a week, and today (some years after our kids are grown) we look back and see it was very positive, even spiritual. The Bible has many stories about breaking bread together with the positive expectation of communing with God and creating community.
Good post. I’m going to email it around.
And, do you have any more info on that U of F study about families that eat together?