I hear it so often, usually after speaking engagements or in casual, everyday conversations.
“I just don’t know who I am anymore,” she quietly admits as she tucks her hair behind an ear.
“I’m a mom and a wife and a part-time employee, yeah,” she adds. “But I don’t know if that makes me who I am.”
And I so get this because I’ve felt it, too. I’m guessing you know what I’m talking about.
It’s so hard to know who you are if you don’t know whose you are.
It’s so hard to know what you stand for when you don’t fully understand who stands for you.
It’s so hard to know your passion when you don’t understand how passionate He is for you.
But the truth is . . . You are His. He will fight for you. And He loves you with a passion you can’t even fathom.
In You’re Already Amazing: Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You to Be by Holley Gerth, the first two chapters are about realizing who God created you to be and what He wants you to do to serve Him.
If we don’t know who we are – what we’re passionate about, what skills we possess and what population we would like to serve, then it’s difficult to know what to say “yes” to and what to say “no” to, isn’t it? I think this is one of the main reasons we all find ourselves spread a little too thin – we say “yes” to things that aren’t in alignment with our purpose then find ourselves with too little time and energy to pour-in to our passion.
Holley encourages us to select three strengths from an abundant list found in Chapter Two then asks us to identify our skills from another list. Lastly, she asks us to think about the population that energizes us, the group of people who makes our heart quicken, the ones that touch our heart.
As she states on page 38, “You’re strengths + your skills + who you’re called to serve = you making a difference in the world in your own amazing way.”
Yes, it’s really that simple. But sometimes the easiest stuff can be the hardest stuff.
“I think the enemy tricks us into believing we are not enough because he knows if we discover the truth, we’ll be unstoppable” Holley adds (p. 39)
Yes. You will be unstoppable, my friend.
So for this week’s book club discussion, please answer at least one of the following questions in the comment section… And don’t forget – our first group chat will be on Thursday night at 9 p.m. EST on Facebook – it’s not too late to join us! Click this link to request to be added to the group and you’re in, my friend…
1. The “it girl” is thought of as a woman everyone wants to be like in our culture. Do you ever feel pressure to be like women in the media? Share one example.
2. In contrast, through Scripture God says you’re an “is girl.” He looks at you and says “She is ________.” Fill in the blank with a few of the words your heart most needs to hear today. For example, “She is loved.”
3. What three strengths did you select and what three skills do you possess?
4. Was there anything else that stood-out to you in Chapters One and Two?
My Comment she is needed. Lately I just feel invisible. Not needed not important and if I died life would not be different without me.
Jules, I know how you feel, I have been there. You do the daily tasks and never get a thanks for anything. I urge you to read this post, on Natalie’s FB page. I know that it has helped me, recently, in the times where I have the feelings you are feeling right now. https://www.facebook.com/AuthorNatalieSnapp/posts/908476782519248
I feel pressure from other moms when they use the term ‘super mom.’ I’m not super mom and calling me that puts walls up…like suddenly I can’t vent or mess up or complain. I’m not super mom. I lose my shit, my keys, and my sanity just like every other mom.
Can I just say….I got a laugh from your comment. But your right…I have always hated the term super mom also. Especially when it makes someone else feel like they don’t measure up. We are moms…plain and simple.
I hear you. As a mom it’s so easy to feel forgotten and invisible. We do so much ‘behind the scenes’ work that it often feels like we could be replaced with a maid, cook, chauffeur and nanny and no one would notice. But, even though I don’t know you, I know hearts would break if you weren’t there. Don’t underestimate your value. To God, to your family and to yourself. You are not invisible – I see you! ♡
Encouraging, loyal and thoughtful were strengths. Advising, listening and writing were my skills. I liked the part about the tabletop made of broken pieces.
1. All the women in the media are size 0 and no matter what I do, I will never be that, nor do I want to be, but the pressure still remains…deep down.
2. Adored, Loved, Wanted, Needed. These words resonate with my soul and the longing to hear them constantly exists.
3. 3 strengths: organized, supportive, and hardworking
3 skills: Managing, Planning, Administering
4. The way that Holley talks about how our strengths will always stay the same, but our skills will change depending on the season of life we are in. I loved hearing that.
I found myself comparing positively and negatively just the other day to a mom that “has it all together”. I was thinking, I don’t (fill in the blank with the many ways I don’t measure up ). But then I.was feeling comfortable with myself. Yea, right? Wrong. Then I started thinking things like, well, if I have to sacrifice x to get y, I don’t want to be like that. Grr! Why can’t we be happy with who we are and happy with who God created other moms to be without comparing?? I’m going to have to work on that. Maybe this book will help. ;)
Sometimes I am asked how I can do it all, full-time job with long hours, kids involved in many activities, and staying up late to complete orders on my crafts. When the ones who are asking me that, I think they have it all together, and I don’t! But they don’t see me rushing out the door in the mornings. Something I need to hear now, is She is forgiven and encouraged. Three strengths: Determined, Resourceful, Trustworthy. Three Skills: Communication, Influencing, Writing. The first part of the book has made me think about my relationships with those around me, my friends and family. People are in my life for a reason. Some I push away, especially the ones I need the most. Friendships I have with my girlfriends are highly valued, but it always seems like we never get that much time together to lean on each other because of our busy schedules. To foucus on my relationships, I need to figure what each person needs from me, and what they are seeking to learn. We set the best example by the life we lead.
My strengths are determined, intelligent, and sensitive. My skills are empathizing, listening, and serving. It’s funny I hesitated to even answer that question. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to say good things about myself, because I do believe that God has given each of us unique gifts.
I find myself constantly going back to the section where she says that God took something perfect and broke it to make me whole. I am brought to tears every time because man we must be special to him! No one else in my life has ever shown me that kind of love. He sees us so different from the rest of the world. A love so amazing! That makes me feel pretty darn special!